Category Archives: Manifesting the Aquarian Age

The Age of Aquarius is here, things have already changed, but the phenomena known as ‘persistence of vision’ applies to all peoples’ minds as well. To fully appreciate the Age of Aquarius you will need to refresh your ways of thinking! … What keeps your mind locked in its old habits? … What can you do to change your mind? … Come explore a different world with us as we prepare to take the next step beyond…

TinYAP 027 — Fey there! Ready for Fey Day Yet?

Fey there! shaggy peoples, please hold on while we get ourselves resorted…

Sorry, We thought we were supposed to skip an explanation of Fey day and introduce tZiggy and our concepts regarding vampires, werewolves, etc., topics which we will certainly return to…

Anyways, Fey Day is when you cross over from mortal to immortal, or more precisely, when you know beyond doubt that you are an immortal.

As a ‘human’ you are always Fey, and always immortal; alas, you know nothing about your immortality or fey natures.

All Fey consider themselves human, however earth humans consider only some of themselves to be human, according to the earthlings, fey are considered to be mythical, fabulous, extra-terrestrial, extra-dimensional, alien, or possibly not even ‘real’ by their own short-sighted, local definitions or beliefs.

Hey!  It was best that way, earthlings needed to forget themselves for a long time in order re-learn pert-near everything.  Poor bastards.

Hey, it was not their fault they came from a place of pain and suffering, torment and despair, just their luck, really.  Of course the dominion lords didn’t have to hurt them so much, but it was their first time out, they had no rules, no standards, they were just playing with their toys a little to roughly is all.


The humans had no models for living in a more ‘civilized’ manner, nor had they any models for living in peace, neither.  They knew how to hurt each other and that was about all, really.

Some of the lords took pity on the humans. Humans were secretly given the gifts of voices, and the powers of words.  This secret new language allowed them to plot against their lords and masters.  The humans banded together and spoke terrible spells that banished themselves from the dominions.

They arrived in a place that had no properties and immediately gave it properties based on their experiences of their lives in the dominions.  Their only examples of how to live or behave had been, for the most part, horrifically cruel and terribly painful.

Any senses of nobility, charity, respect, compassion, love, or hope, etc… would be things they learned with the help of fey beings and creatures.


The humans divided into factions and went to war with each other, but that war is now nearly over, after countless ages of building and destroying civilizations.

The ‘winners’ of the war must now hand over their treasures or be destroyed.  We think they will choose destruction again, but then that IS the way it usually goes…

C’este la vie!

Once more, everyone will die.  However, if you just *WAKE UP* you can get off the eternal wheels of self-destruction and become what you were always destined to be, people with the powers of gods and goddesses, people free of want or need, people free to experience anything their hearts desire and capable of finding it by whatever means most pleases them.

The wheels of self-destruction are moved by semi-malignant memes, living ideas that have the power to enslave peoples’ minds and sap peoples’ powers, turning them into sheople.

Don’t feel bad about being raised to be sheople, there are some good aspects to such a lifestyle, however, there are aspects to sheopledom that many people would like to change.

Of course, the most conservative folks want to keep things just the way they are, with themselves on top, so they try to frighten the sheople into being more conservative too, to support the status quo, regardless of the pain and suffering the status quo delivers to too many of the sheople including those too poor to qualify as sheople, who have the least powers of all.

Ironically, all the powers that bind the sheople and limit the sheoples’ own powers come from the sheople themselves.  It would drain a wizard or ruin a mage to use their own powers to control so many people.  However, when a person’s powers are stolen they may be used to bind that person with their own power.  All sheople today are frustrated by their lack of power, their feelings of hopelessness and despair are a source of pleasure and power for their lords and masters.

We aim to help earthlings to liberate themselves from the twisted ways their own minds and powers have been turned against themselves.

Sorry you have to die first.

However, you do not need to rush to your deaths.

You can wait as long as you like to die, your death is not an urgent matter, it is more of an eternal matter, and therefor can happen anytime at your convenience.

Really, you die all the time, but you are relieved of the memories of your deaths before you reawaken in your new lives, new lives which often continue your most ‘recent’ life where you left off.

To anyone who is fey, death is a tool, but never an end.  Too any fey, death is always a cross-look away.  Death is always the door from one world to another.

But, to anyone fey, death is a two-way door, always.

If we step out of one life and into another, then we step back into the previous life when we may seem done with the other, carrying on the previous life where we left off by dying, carrying on as if nothing happened while we were ‘gone’ because no time has passed between our departure by dying and our return.  If anything, a little time may be rolled back, to completely edit out the death, if we are not strong enough or willing enough to bear the memory of the pain.

Dying is a painful business, always…


We meant to explain more about vampires, but this will do for a start, try reading this early start on a vampire novel: Vampire Therapy

You will see that our vampires are more like spirit-riders than blood-suckers.  They are masters of illusions, but live in their own dimensions, attaching themselves to humans something like a leach, but it is not water humans must wade through to pick them up, instead, it is in the space between worlds that vampires find their prey, attaching themselves to astral travelers.

Anyways, Enjoy!

TinYAP 026 — Did Anything Really Happen in 2012? Wait and See on Fey Day!

hi, hi, hi!
Onna roll, gonna stroll, off to our doctor’s to pay his toll.
That’s tomorree…



What did you expect to happen in 2012?  What did you hope would happen?  Can you still make it happen?  Did it happen without your knowledge?

A lot of folks expected the end of the world in 2012, some of them seemed quite sincere, while a lot of them seemed disappointed.

A lot of folks actually hoped the world would arrive at the ‘end days’…  They hoped Christ would return, give the Devil a whuppin’. and then begin a reign of peace on earth.

Anybody here miss any of that?  Anybody want to repeat it?

We mean no offense to anyone, believers and non-believers alike, but we would like to explain our take on such events.

On the one hand, we truly believe something happened, but that it wasn’t something most people got to notice right away.  Some people have gotten there ‘ahead’ of others in one sense.

So let’s see…  Some people haven’t seen these special events related to 2012 as foretold by some of the worlds’ great religions and civilizations, however some have, some still might, and some saw these events earlier than 2012… Yup, that about sums it up, so who in tarnation has seen these damned events, no one you know, right?

The dead.

Once upon a time, a bunch of people thought it would be a good idea to try to reassert their individual divinities.  Actually they thought it would be a good idea if everybody reasserted their divinities.

People originally surrendered their divine powers to try to create peace on earth.  Well, you see how that seems to have worked so far.

But peace was their goal, peace by self sacrifice, but more-or-less equal sacrifices for almost all.

The most powerful wizards and sorcerers had the most to lose in this deal, but what the majority of the wizards and sorcerers wanted was to have power on earth, to establish their own dominions in which they would enslave all the rest of the people that their powers could grasp.

Well, most people knew where they stood, they had few defenses against any wizard or sorcerer unless they banded together, but even united, they were not nearly as powerful as they needed to be.

Because the Wizards and Sorcerers were at wars with each other, the best most people caught in between them could do was to favor one side or another, whichever side was weaker, because keeping the war between Wizards and Sorcerers going was the only way they could manipulate events to occasionally get one of them ‘killed’.

The wizards and sorcerers were, of course, immortal, but they could be so badly stunned they forgot themselves.  Or their physical bodies might be destroyed, sending the wizards into a fey way of recycling themselves by returning to their sources.  Often the sorcerers would arrive not in the realm of earth, but in the dominions of whichever lord they collaborated with because a sorcerer’s powers stemmed from bargains made with dominion lords to trade humans for the spells they needed to summon monsters from their dominions or to manipulate other peoples powers and bodies as if they were their own,

The wizards drew their power from others by writing their own spells.  What made them so powerful was their knowledge of how to bend any beings into new forms.  A wizard was extremely talented at crafting their own spells because they had been spell-crafters in their Lord’s dominions.  The wizards’ spells could turn anyone into anything they wanted, a lamp, a desk, a banquet dinner, a man at arms, or a monster.

Eventually the war took its toll and a peace advisor appeared to help everyone make peace.

That peace is now nearly at hand.

Soon, the war will end.

A war of countless years, a war of all the ages that have ever passed, all the ages since this group of worlds called the realm of earth was first created to the very end of all days when the universes have all collapsed together once more into nothing at all.

The war has actually already ended, in one sense.  However, you need to understand time well enough to transcend time in order to understand that some events can be distributed across time, and to understand that the events that compose the end of any world are all distributed across time in order to include everyone from every age of humanity in all the worlds humanity will ever occupy to all the ends of days…

However, time runs in a sort of circular loop, coiled up something like a spring.  Time is less a property of anything or anyone, time is more a tool created by young minds to help them mature to the next stage of their understanding.

That understanding comes when you die.  It comes as often as you die, it comes at the end of all your incarnations’ iterations.  This is why the price of the Oracle has always been your life, you will know everything there is to know again, each time you die.  You paid the Oracle to remind you of what you wanted to remember when you returned to life again.

In death, all your limitations are stripped away and you emerge from your incarnations into the full powers of your divine natures.  Eventually you discover your divinity, all is revealed to you.  You learn what you wanted to know and you return to your departed lives.

In your restored lives you have once more forgotten who you really are and you resume the identities associated with the bodies you have re-occupied.  Your resurrections go unnoticed by yourselves and everyone else.

You resume your lives and await the voices of your Oracles to guide you to your lost memories of who you really are and what your purpose is.

Your purpose has always been to re-awaken your divine powers.  This long period in which you have spent many, many lives nearly powerless has been to train you to become more humane.

Some of you may still wish to be cruel.  Some of you may still wish to hold dominions over others.

Some of you may have hopes of crushing those who still chose simpler paths, paths of peace and prosperity, paths measured by the works of their own hands and by the charities of their own hearts.

Humanity’s divine powers were locked away because before humans created the realm of earth and all of its worlds, nearly all humans were raised by cultures in which they were the slaves of beings who tormented humans for their own personal pleasures.

Many humans sided with their masters and enjoyed the sports of torture, there was no torment they would not endure themselves or apply to another human.  These were the humans who would become sorcerers.

The dominions were places of powerful torments.  Humans were twisted and bent or powdered and spent.  Humans became bricks and mortar, trees and birds, and everything to make a world, only most humans were not used to build pleasant worlds.

The fey dominions built a different way, a way one fey creature began to teach the humans, a dragon who slowly recruited more fey to help teach all the humans well.

The humans learned yet another way, a way that was to carry them into a future where no one wielded power over any other being, but a way different from the fey way because they had not yet learned to consciously comingle their powers peacefully.  (This last part, comingling their powers was to be managed for the humans artificially, in a manner also used by some fey.)

Not that *all* the fey were at peace, but that is another story… The fey knew ways to be more humane than humans, but it would take several eternities at the very least before the humans could begin to learn all of the ways of the fey and then emulate them successfully.

It might take a bit longer for the fey to trust the earthlings within their fey domains.

It would take still longer for each of the humans to discover their own divine natures and finally transcend their mortalities and all of their limitations forevermore.

True freedom is coming.  The way of the fey is undeniable, it has been written into your blood and is reborn in the marrows of your bones.  You have always been fey, but your imprinting from your previous civilizations was so brutal that it took many, many ages to teach you the arts of gentleness, courtship, love, and duty.

We ourselves are a dragon, but none of your fables have clearly prepared you for the sort of dragon we seem to be when we look at ourselves.

We will fly again, and one day we shall grow out our scales and wings and soar.

Until that day when we have transformed ourselves and helped to transform the worlds of earth we will remain here, committed to our work to save a planet or two and to assist the dead in the journeys they must make to return to their lives.

In the collective moment called NOW all people are both living and dead because all of their pasts and futures have merged into a single being that disappears within their own unique deification and then emerges again closer to their own personal truths, truths that shall set them free to be all they wish to be, with no one left behind, ever.

Whenever you die, your journey begins, but it’s also over every moment you return.  In life, you forget the entire journeys you make each time you die.  Fortunately, your Oracles guide you well and you always return to life a little closer to your goal, so long as you serve your Oracles well.

Welcome to the Age of Aquarius, prepare to live the adventures of your lives.


Love, Grigori Rho Gharveyn,
aka Greg Gourdian, Falcon, Chameleon, Roger Holler, etc., et al…

TinYAP 025 — Rules, All About Knowledge, an Epistomological Farce ad-Absurdum…

Riddle: What is a rule if it is not broken?

About knowledge, we might say this, that we truly believe we know nothing.

However, by extension, if we find we must believe we know nothing, then we must either submit to the authority of whoever can prove their own knowledge, or we must conclude that no one else can know anything either, with the possible exception of someone like enough to a God or Goddess as to be indistinguishable from Them.

But lets not argue whether God exists or which God is the true God.  Not only might we insult The Goddess, by whatever names you may know Her by, but we may insult many other people as well, regardless of which God or Goddess they do or do not choose to believe in.

As it happens, we love all religions, even the religions without a god that are popularly labeled atheism.  To better understand our love please read Transcending Religions’ Meaning and Value, thanks.

If you tell us we must do as you say because you believe you know what we should do, while we, by our own assertions that we know nothing, cannot know what we should do, then we might reply that first you must make us believe that you know what we should do.

We might then inform you that we will know you know what we should do only if we consistently and infallibly profit by your advise without ever incurring any risks of any kind to ourselves.

Of course, you cannot fulfill this condition without putting us at risk; therefor, you cannot know what we should do, and therefor we should not do as you tell us, except, perhaps, if it profits us or if it pleases us.

The risk we are subject to if you can fulfill our conditions is that we must place ourselves in an inferior position to you, and accept that you have placed yourself in a superior position to us.

However, we also believe that it may be impossible for any person to honestly admit they know nothing, even though we may also believe that knowledge of any sort is impossible.

In a world where knowledge may be equated with power, we suspect that all people want to believe they are capable of knowing that whatever they have chosen to believe is really true.

If the existence of all knowledge can be in doubt, then anyone’s beliefs must also be in doubt.  In order to feel secure in their beliefs it is therefor necessary to create a myth about authorities, people with authentic knowledge, and then they must foist these authorities off on anyone who challenges their own knowledge.

We say ‘foist’ because, after all, if there is no real basis for knowledge, there can be no true authorities, all authority would be derived solely from whatever people dupe themselves into believing, which is fine, so long as no all-knowing god comes along and makes himself an exception. Otherwise, in the absence of some concrete evidence of a god’s existence, and the claims of that god regarding His knowledge, then we might say that belief in god becomes a case in point, or so an atheist might argue, anyways…

We choose to believe in many, many gods, an infinite number of them really, but we also call many of these gods by another name, human beings.

We hope you are enjoying your divinity, if your pleasure is your wish.

Have fun!

Please understand, we believe in ourselves.  We know we are fallible, but we also know that we are a divine being, just as you are.  We share what we believe is useful information for anyone interested in challenging their own assumptions about the nature of reality.  We do not say that what we have experienced is real, only that it has seemed real to us.
What we do say is that you should define your own realities for yourselves, and not allow yourselves to be the tools of a civilization that was hurtling to its death only a short time ago, and which, by the inertia of its homeostatic processes, will still appear to be hurtling towards certain total global annihilation for some more or less short time to come, a time that may most likely be measured in decades, but not many.
As we see it, everyone died recently, not only you or all of yourselves, but all of ourselves as well.
But, of course, that is another story, or perhaps many stories.  We leave it up to you to tell your own stories of how you may have recently died.


Some additional thoughts about knowledge…

Anyone who takes an introductory course in philosophy should understand the arguments regarding the possible non-existence of all knowledge, but most people will never choose to believe the arguments in favor, and instead follow the arguments that discus what the properties of knowledge must be as if knowledge must really exist.
What makes this funny, of course, or sad, is that the truth must be denied, regardless of whether it is true or not, in part because of what may be human nature, and in part because the power of every university and college depends on their knowledge and the skill by which they manipulate anyone who seeks to learn their knowledge.
And of course, at least as we see it, there can be no knowledge, all of their power is a sort of sham, a scam.
But then, so is everyone else’s power as well.
(We might consider strength to be more real, but most power seems to us be a some sort of illusion.)

On the other hand, the part that may be human nature often seems to compel people to seek authorities.  There is nothing like a seeker, they most often seem to see what they seek when the conditions suit them.  This is why it is too easy to become a sort of charlatan / guru.
Please note –
there are people we might consider real gurus whom we would never want to offend, but we love those who some may call charlatans as well, we find them very helpful in spite of themselves.
Fortunately, the homeostatic processes of the seeker may often remove them from a dangerous charlatan.  In the case of less dangerous charlatans, a community forms, and the community agrees on the authority of the charlatan, for them he is their genuine guru, and because he must live up to their expectations of wisdom they will usually fare reasonably well together, so long as they are not unfairly exploited or otherwise harmed.

WE do not wish to be a guru or a charlatan.  We are a more along the lines of a poet-visionary.  Where you may allow our visions to lead you is your journey.  Our journey is our own.  But where we may walk together in peace and love we are always grateful for your divine company.


Riddle answer: a rule never broken is useless, so therefor all rules must be broken.

TinYAP 024 — Self-Deprecation, a Social Disease That Ruins Peoples’ Lives


We hurt, we hurt, we hurt, we hurt, we hurt!!!!!

We are frustrated beyond belief, but we cannot push our frustration off on our readers, or on Tina, that would be unfair.  However, if we wanted to blame someone other than ourselves, then perhaps our readers or Tina are people whom we might blame for some of our pain and frustration.

This may have a lot to do with our frequent episodes of writer’s block, or why so many of our relationships fail.

With regard to our readers, there are always these nagging comments disparaging us by belittling our work or calling us crazy.  Some of our readers have left nasty comments in the past; some of our earlier critics have even punctuated their criticisms with their fists.

Perhaps we have learned from the responses of other people to imagine additional criticism because we seem to hear many people continue to criticize us, even when we are ‘alone’.  Either way, we experience a lot of pain and anguish trying to address complaints about our work regardless of whether these complaints originate with one or more of ourselves, or whether they originate with other people, some of whom may be our current readers.

With regard to Tina, we do not hate Tina, we love her; however, our frequent anger issues often nonconsciously motivate us to hurt Tina in subtle ways that she may often seem not to notice, but which make us feel bad whenever we catch ourselves being mean.

We do not want to hurt Tina, but we also do want to reward Tina either for hurting us or for hurting herself.  Instead, we prefer to try to cope with our feelings without talking to Tina about them because we think our feelings are really our own personal responsibility. 

We might want to talk to Tina about our feelings, however Tina has defense mechanisms that make this seem nearly impossible.  We do not know how to talk to Tina without activating her defense mechanisms.  Even if we believe we are not trying to blame Tina or attack her, Tina reflexively, habitually assumes that she is at fault and promptly punishes herself, interrupting anything we might hope to say.

This is a defense mechanism because Tina anticipates we will say something that somehow criticizes her or blames her and then, rather than wait to hear us out, she immediately cuts us off by saying something that blames or punishes herself.  She defends herself from hearing us say something bad about her by saying something bad about herself first.

This is still not another paradox, this is just another case of how things really are.  Sadly, it is not just Tina who hurts herself like this, possibly everyone we have ever met hurts themselves like this from time to time.

Our ex, Kelly, used to demand we take responsibility for our issues, she also demanded we talk to her, but as nearly as we can tell, what she really wanted was to absolve herself of responsibility for her own issues by pushing them off onto us.  This seems to us to have contributed to our divorce.

Of course, being bat-shit crazy might be another one.

<shakes head>

We do not want to marry or divorce Tina, however, we suspect she would like to marry us and only tells us she does not want to marry us because she knows we do not want to marry.

Alas, we suspect Tina re-words our desire not to get married to mean it as if we do not want to marry her, Tina, specifically because of some fault with her.  We think Tina takes it as some sort of insult or condemnation that we do not want to marry, but we see marriage as a very different business than most people may see it.

Marriage is not strictly a union of two people, it is also a union with the culture or cultures of the people being married.

Our rejection of marriage has more to do with our rejection of our own native cultures, it has nothing to do with Tina as a person, particularly as someone whom we dearly love.

Also, a marriage deserves the participation of two families, and our relationships with our own families are terrible.  We still do not feel like we belong to any family, society or culture; we are a severely alienated person (or persons, if you are kind enough to allow us to define ourselves not as you may prefer to define us, but instead, as we choose to define ourselves).


No one on earth can change us; if any change is possible, then that change is something we must learn how to create for ourselves.

People on earth may try to change our circumstances or labels, they may try to change their relationships with us, but those things may only affect us, they cannot change us.

Consequently, we know we cannot change Tina, we can only hope she is capable of changing herself.  Of course, even if Tina wanted to change, it may be the case it is not possible for Tina or anyone to change themselves.  However, this is not a case we find it at all useful to contemplate.

Some people assert it is impossible for anyone to change themselves, so we must sometimes consider that however much we may wish to change ourselves, it may be the case that we are really powerless to do so.

However, if we are indeed powerless to change ourselves then it may be pointless to proceed; therefor, if we wish to proceed we must choose to believe it is possible to change ourselves, regardless of whether it may really be possible to do so or not.

One thing we wish Tina could change about herself is her habitual self-deprecations.  We have tried to talk with her about this, but she says she can’t change this.

If it is possible for her to change this, then she must either be mistaken or she may be lying.

However, if it is possible for Tina to change and she is mistaken, then she is also correct.  This is not a paradox, Tina may make it impossible to change herself by believing it is impossible, and then by choosing not to try.

We would prefer to believe Tina is simply mistaken.  We would prefer to believe Tina would like to change.

Tina abuses herself every day in countless ways with her self-deprecations.  We cannot really find fault with Tina over this, we believe Tina was taught to be this way.  We prefer to choose to believe Tina can still learn to love herself and be happy with herself.

We know there are many things Tina would like to change about her circumstances, but these are not the things she needs to change most.  A person who knows how to be happy and content with themselves can be happy or content in any circumstances.  What Tina most needs to change are the cognitive habits she uses to make herself unhappy, habits which may make her miserable regardless of her circumstances.

Unfortunately, Tina is suffering from a communicable social disease, a cognitive disease she learned from other people.

We have yet to meet anyone who is not sick with this disease to some degree, in some manner or another, and we have met a lot of people.  We spent four years as a psychic reader working with various psychic fairs, traveling a three state working region through four different states.

This cognitive disease is passed down to every generation, it may be pointless to try to determine its origins, however we do hope it may be possible to determine how to end it.

Self-deprecation has some useful social functions, such as making a painful or embarrassing point without directly offending someone who may cause harm to the speaker in retaliation.

However, when self-deprecation becomes a habituated response, such that a person blames or criticizes themselves every time anything goes wrong, appears to go wrong, or is described by someone else as being wrong, then self-deprecation has become a harmful habit.

One reason some people develop habits of self-deprecation is to get strokes from other people as a reward.

Rewarding someone for hurting themselves is either stupid, or crazy like a fox.

Nonetheless, there are traditions in most cultures in which a person who hurts themselves with self-deprecation is rewarded with positive social strokes.

Good person, good person, you just keep on hurting yourself.

Stupid, yes?

And yet this is a ritual carried out daily all over the world, perhaps in every culture.  We are pretty sure there are no people who are not affected by this sort of behavior, neither ourselves nor any others may be able to escape this terrible social disease.

These rituals of self-deprecation have lots of useful purposes for our societies and their cultures, so regardless of how much harm such rituals cause, it seems likely that the cultures of most societies will continue to teach self-deprecation to each successive generation.

No wonder so many kids are so suicidal; they have been instilled with their own worthlessness and the helplessness of their conditions by the people who should love them and care for them the most.

We remain committed to doing our very best to change that for the better.


Love, Grigori Rho Gharveyn,
aka Greg Gourdian, Falcon, Chameleon, etc., et al…

TinYAP 023 — Beyond Death and Dying

(explanations promised at the end of TinYAP 022)

In TinYAP 022 we described what happens when people die. We (the authors) understand death intimately from our personal experiences because we have died many, many times, both in various versions of this current incarnation (versions we call ‘iterations’), as well as times when we have died in some of our other incarnations.

In TY022 We briefly explained, in context to ancient Greek beliefs, why people returning to life forget their ‘afterlife’ experiences.  While we should explain this better in another context using more modern terms, we will leave such explanations for another post and explain instead focus on the previously promised explanations of why the corpses of people you know who have died do not seem to return to life, and the ways you may unintentionally harm yourselves by suicide without successfully escaping from whatever torments drove you to kill yourselves,

Please note – we put quotes around the word ‘afterlife’ because time is very different from what most people appear to believe about it. Past and future are always simultaneous with the present. We understand this may seem impossible or confusing to you, however, this is yet another explanation we may owe you which we will have to make later.
in TY022 we advised readers not to test our assertions regarding dying or death with suicide.  It only now occurs to us that perhaps we should also have advised our readers not to test our assertions by killing anyone else, as well.

Every suicide’s death remains a ‘real’ death in the sense that their death may leave a corpse behind in the universes they ‘cast off’ when they kill themselves.  Also, someone who has died by any other means than suicide may also leave a corpse behind.

In those universes where a suicide returns to life they do not appear to have died.  The suicide returns to life in more or less the same state as they existed in before their suicide.  Alas, their suicides inform their universes that they are very unhappy with what they have, so they tend to lose most of what they had before they killed themselves, unless they have guardians or custodians who may help them to keep their belongings and maintain their relationships.

A billionaire who kills themselves may return to life and become a pauper in just a few days.

Someone with many close friends and family may lose less of their material wealth if they kill themselves, because their friends and family may sometimes act as guardians or custodians to help preserve their property.  However, suicides also often ruin their closest relationships.

The deaths of suicides in particular, may ruin relationships, however any death, in general, may also damage or ruin close relationships.

Every time you die the people whom love you most are hurt.  The more frequently you *choose* to die, the more deeply members of your family or friends may be hurt.

Everyone dies countless unremembered deaths, but the deaths of suicides leave much deeper impressions on people, impressions that are rarely understood but which serve to alienate people.  In whatever universes where a suicide finds themselves when they return to life, those people who are emotionally closest to them may become more alienated from them even though their family or friends are unlikely to be consciously aware that their loved one has killed themselves in an alternate universe.

Even though suicides return to their lives and carry on as if they had not died, suicides also leave behind worlds in alternate universes in which they no are no longer incarnate beings; worlds in which their lovers, families, friends and other associates may have been deeply hurt by the deaths of someone they loved who killed themselves.

When someone kills themselves they leave a corpse in one universe and return to life in another universe in a new body.  Their new body is virtually indistinguishable from the body they killed.

Nothing seems to have changed for the suicide or the people they know, however, in the universes where the suicide dies the people who mourn their loss are in pain, and that pain can carry over from one universe to another.

People close to a resurrected suicide feel their own pain bleeding over from those universes where the suicide has died into those universes where the suicide is still alive.  That transferred pain may insidiously alienate them from the person they love who has abandoned them in another universe by killing themselves.

People living with a loved one in universes where the loved one has returned from suicide may be unaware of their loved one’s suicide on any conscious level, however they may still feel some of the pain they are experiencing from those universes where their loved one has died by killing themselves.

Such people intuitively understand the pain they feel is related to the person they love who has killed themselves in an alternate universe.  This pain that has been transferred to them from another of themselves in another universe causes them to reflexively withdraw from their suicidal loved one.

A suicidal person can feel the withdrawal of their loved ones and this often increases their desire to kill themselves again.

Most suicides do not kill themselves only once; many suicides kill themselves repeatedly, injuring many of their closest relationships over, and over again.

It can be very difficult for suicidal people trapped in negative feedback loops to learn to motivate themselves to remain alive and to get on with their lives in a healthier manner.

Meanwhile, once a person has decided to kill themselves, it becomes easier to decide to kill themselves again, so not only is their motivation to kill themselves increased by the withdrawal of their closest relationships, but at the same time they are breaking down their inhibitions or reservations against killing themselves.  Consequently, suicidal people become prone to killing themselves more and more frequently.

This feedback loop actually increases the pain a suicidal person is feeling.  The suicidal person then makes themselves suffer more than they would if they had not killed themselves.

These are the reasons why we *strongly* advise people not to kill themselves.

It is impossible to escape pain or suffering by suicide, you can only make things worse for yourselves by killing yourselves.

We know this from our own personal experiences, having killed ourselves many, many times.

It’s bad enough we must die many times for reasons that may seem accidental, or for reasons that may be more homicidal than accidental, however, we should not need to add more to our pain by killing ourselves as well.

Dying hurts.

Each time we are dying we feel the people who love us most calling out to us, beseeching us to return, begging us not to leave them.  We feel all of their pain and the suffering they cause themselves when they grieve for us or mourn their loss.

The emotional pains of dying are far worse than any mere physical discomfort.  The emotional pains are so severe that they may sometimes help many suicidal people to change their minds about killing themselves.

However, those suicidal people who fail to change their minds may still go on to kill themselves.  Many of those who succeed in killing themselves may go on to kill themselves repeatedly until they become so numb to their own pain that they no longer care if they live or die and may then cease to kill themselves any more, not out of a will or desire to live, but out of apathy.

We ourselves have killed ourselves countless times, in every age of this incarnation, from womb to present.  We have left many graves in many worlds, we have abandoned many mourners who have grieved for us or who have suffered in the wakes of our passings.

Sometimes we find death useful.

Sometimes death can be a tool with which we may work on parts of ourselves that are difficult to change while we are alive.

Many aspects of peoples’ minds are in feedback relationships with their bodies or with other people.  Each person has many homeostatic regulatory systems which help to maintain not only their physical or spiritual health, but also their emotional and cognitive health, as well as the health of their relationships with other people.

Such homeostatic processes must be suspended to make particular changes to how various parts of our minds or bodies function.

Death is one means of suspending such homeostatic processes.  We do not happen to know of another, however, we strongly suspect that other methods exist.

<<<INTERRUPT>>> Other methods do exist.  A person who is an integrated member of a spiritual community may receive assistance with anything requiring homeostatic suspension through whatever prayers, meditations, or rituals are the conventional tools of their culture.
You have difficulty remembering this sort of thing because of your severe alienation.

Thank you Interruptor.

As is often the case, this leads us to yet another story that may be more appropriate in a separate post.

We believe we have sufficiently covered both points we initially set out to explain.

Laters, then, fer now…


TinYAP 022 — Dying, Death and Beyond, Time Manipulation, Returning to Life…

(or anywhere else, really)

Regarding death…

People may sometimes appear to die.  Even to themselves, a person may sometimes appear to be dead.

Nonetheless, all people always return to life after they have died.

Ordinarily, death can feel like a very brief experience, particularly in the sense that when you resume your life, very little time may appear to have passed between the moments before your death and the moments immediately after you awaken from your death, as you return to life.

Your experiences while you are dead do not require any time to pass in the living world. All of your experiences when you appear to have died run on a totally different clock; you have all the time in the ‘afterlife’ (or underworld) to return to your life. You will always return to your life as close in time and space as possible to where and when you left your life.

You have many lives; death can serve as a door to allow you to move from one incarnation to another. Of course, you cannot just leave your current body an empty shell.  Even if your body is momentarily dead, someone will hijack your corpse if you are away from it too long.

Fortunately, most people return to their dead bodies per the rules we have explained above.

All of your lives of your various incarnations and all of their iterations are lived by different internal clocks. All internal clocks expand timelessness into infinite time. Internal clocks can be may speed up or slow down subjective time so that time seems to go by either faster or slower. A slower clock divides time into smaller units between each tick, so that more ticks are experienced between one second and the next.

One way to imagine how a slower clock works is to think of a movie that is made with high-speed film. High speed film captures clear images when the subject is moving very quickly. There are a lot more frames per second with a high speed film. Played at an ordinary rate subjects in the film appear to move more slowly than usual. When your internal clock speeds up it adds ‘frames’ that represent briefer and briefer slices of time, because the intervals between ‘frames’ are briefer there appears to be more action in a short span of time.

When your internal clock removes frames to slow subjective time down, each remaining frame then represents a longer period of time. This is like shooting just a few frames a day to record the growth of a plant, then running the frames at a higher rate of speed to create an illusion of much more rapid growth. In this way, when your internal clock goes slower, time appears to pass more slowly because you experience a lower density of events over time that you may deem worthy of paying attention to.

On the other hand, when your clock is going much faster, time may seem to slow down to a crawl because you experience more significant events in a briefer amount of time.

Your clock speeds up when you need more processing power to pay greater attention to higher levels of detail and complexity. Fast clocks are excellent for creative people, athletes, or people facing a crisis where they feel certain they are in immediate physical danger.

Slower clocks are typical with people who are habitually bored; because they are not engaged with the world around themselves to any significant degree their clocks may allow them to relax and stand down, perhaps even catch a nap.

People whose clocks are nearly always running as fast as they can tolerate find it hard to make much time for sleep.

Time appears to expand or contract according to the degree to which the observer is actively and deeply engaged in their experiences. For instance, in dreams hours, days or months of subjective time may pass by in only a few brief minutes of sleep.

We cannot say how many times this flexibility of our own internal clocks appear to have saved our lives.

For instance, on one occasion when we fell from a scaffold from three stories up, our subjective time immediately snapped into extreme slow motion, meaning our internal clock was running very fast. While falling we had plenty of time to look around. We drifted towards the ground below as slowly as a feather falls. We had time to calculate that we had just one opportunity to save ourselves from serious injury. We were able to hook one leg around the last horizontal bar of scaffolding before the ground, and then catch ourselves by locking our heels together. We wound up dangling upside down with all of our spare change flying out of our pockets. We could almost reach the ground if we stretched our arms out as far as we could.

On another occasion we went into subjective slow motion after being hit by a car. The car hit us from behind while we were riding our bicycle, throwing us over the handlebars. we had plenty of time to think about what we were doing, to tuck and roll, taking the impact with the ground on our shoulders. We could then look up in time to snag our flying bicycle out of the air by the handlebars and wrench it across the curb onto the grass margin between the sidewalk and the street. We used the momentum of the bicycle to help us to roll over the curb with our bike just in time to avoid being run over by the car that hit us which was traveling at nearly 50 miles an hour. We were well within an established bicycle lane on a road marked for only 25 miles an hour, approaching a school zone.

This flexibility of internal clocks is a great survival tool.

Often, when we die, we are retroactively saved from what had been certain death by a heroic form of ourselves who takes control of our mind and body and knows exactly how to manage our internal clock and body far better than we can.

If we examine the bicycle incident closely, we see we may really have died then. We do not remember dying then, but most of our memories of our deaths are pretty spotty. It seems as if people are just not supposed to remember their deaths.

In ancient lore, people who die must cross two rivers in the Underworld, Styx (death) and Lethe (memory removal). Memory removal usually assures that most ‘afterlife’ experiences, including the moment of death, are entirely forgotten.

We believe the only reason we remember as much as we do, including our memories that go back to our mothers’ wombs and beyond, may be due to our very early childhood training.

For glimpses into our childhood and what may be considered to be our very unusual training please see our page titled A CHILD’S TALES.

We can clearly remember several deaths in this lifetime.  One time, a friend cut our throat deeply from ear to ear in a ritual to prove to us that we are immortal.  Two witnesses were stunned and discussed choosing to forget what they had seen.  Another time we were shot dead by the police while trying to steal their van,  We touched each police officer in the back of his head near the nape of his neck with the fingers of either hand of our astral body simultaneously.  Our corpse immediately vanished, while our astral body turned to flesh.

Once again, the witnesses were stunned and discussed choosing to forget what they had seen. 

In both cases, the witnesses promptly forgot what had happened.

Most people appear to have a very low tolerance for anything they may prefer to believe is impossible; denial is most often their best refuge from events they have witnessed that might drive them mad if they choose to remember…

We do sound mad?  Yes?

Of course, we assure you we are not at all mad, however you may possibly take a long time to remember enough times when you have died in your current incarnation to begin to believe our assertions.  However, according to some of our friends, eventually you will come to agree with us, if not before you die again, then sometime after you have died many more times.

<WARNING>  We strongly recommend that you do not kill yourselves to test our assertions.

The safest way to understand your own immortality is to choose to remember times in this lifetime when you have already died.  We already know that you have died many times already, so this should not be too hard to learn to do if you really wish to know for yourself that what we have explained to you may really be true.

It’s like our mom says, “if you want to prove you can fly, be sure to do it from the ground up”.

How do we know you have died many times already?

Death is written into the fabric of every person’s lives; no matter how you divide up time, you are always being killed, and the universe you live in is always disappearing with you as you die.

This is a function of how creation works, but then so is the ‘big bang’.  If you think creationism and science cannot be reconciled, we would like to suggest you read: The Great False Debate, Science vs. Religion

Once you have died, you may have several options.  In one option you will always return to the life you have just departed from, and you then resume your life wherever you left off.  No matter how much time you spend with your other options, your previous life will always be waiting for you to return to it and resume it.

Another option is to try a different incarnation.  You can enter any of your other incarnations, even a ‘new’ one at any time.  If a part of you is currently living that lifetime they may agree to swap with you. 

Please note, in some circumstances, swapping your consciousness with someone in another incarnation including another of your own incarnations may occur for brief spans of time, following which you may return to whichever incarnation you were previously living in.

Yet another option is to spend some time, as many eternities as you like, really, remaining in the ‘afterlife’ or underworld, in order to get to know what reality is like from the other side, as it were… The afterlife can be lots of fun, you may meet all sorts of people you love, and may be free to have as many adventures as you like.  The downside to such sojourns in these ‘afterlife’ experiences is that you must cross the River Lethe to return to life, and are therefor, on exiting, you may most likely forget all of your ‘afterlife’ experiences, whenever you have return to life.

Regardless of your choices, (and, you are always free to choose all of them simultaneously), after you have died some of yourselves will always return to the whichever lives you have ‘recently’ died in and resume them.

As impossible as this may seem, this is not some paradox, this is just how things really are.


If you enjoyed this blog you should really like the Robin Williams movie titled:
What Dreams May Come, or one of our favorite articles,
‘Hell in a Nutshell’.

We owe you explanations of why the corpses of people you know who have died do not seem to return to life, and the ways you may harm yourselves by suicide without successfully escaping from whatever torment drove you to kill yourselves.  That will come another time, we can’t quite remember where we have made that explanation before or we would link it here now…

Bye, bye fer now, and remember, Enjoy!

TinYAP 003 — MPD and Multiplicity, Formating our Various Voices, ‘Other’ Voices, The Journey Ahead …

Note, the following is excerpted from our original journal, dates are provided as accurately as possible.  While further editing may seem appropriate it may be unlikely to happen, Enjoy!

2013052916~~ ~       (Date format = YEARMMDDHHMM C)

<authors> To make things clearer to our readers we should explain that we view ourselves as a collective, some of whom are parts of ourselves who might identify themselves as such, in the sense that they may be regarded as fragments of a shattered personality along the lines of people diagnosed with multiple personality disorders (MPD) or dissociative identity disorders (DID).  We were diagnosed DID by Cindy Gyori, the head of a clinic we were attending for therapy from 1987 to 1994 or thereabouts…

Some of our voices are clearly from other worlds, alternate realities, or popular fiction…

Others of our voices are people we have known in the past, some of whom may be considered to be dead… (our beliefs about death and dying are radically different and should be todays’ topic to be posted next)

Still other voices are somehow alien, particularly the robotic voices of various sorts of artificial or machine intelligences…

<We try to make some of these voices clearer for you by editing in introductions.  We will try to be clear in the format we use to make introductions.  Introductions will begin and end with single angle brackets, such as in this example: <Nemo>…

This post is an introduction to the entire work we will post here; you may have noted an ellipsis (three dots …) appears at the end of short paragraphs where the current speaker will continue in the next paragraph; a single closing angle bracket should appear when this introduction has been completed

Sometimes, two or three angle brackets <<<!>>> may be used to indicate a command voice, voice-over, or some other strong interjection from another voice whom we may regard as a member of our collective, but who may or may not also be regarded as one of ourselves, or as members of any collectives with which we are associated.

Some of these ‘other’ voices belong to one or more beings we believe to be AIs (Artificial Intelligences). Some of these ‘other’ voices belong to beings or collectives which are not now known to be members of any of our own collectives or networks but which do appear to become members of one or more of our closer-knit collectives at some later time.

Sometimes we hear the voices of schools of fish (they are called schools fer a reason ya know), you can learn a lot from fish.

Other means of punctuating introductions of new voices may arise, please just roll with the changes, as we do.  We will try to iron out the worst wrinkles, but this may still be a rough ride if you are making an effort to keep track of the various voices…

What we say within these pages may seem impossible, at first, but if you can follow our lead long enough you may begin to see the worlds around you in a whole new way emphasis on *whole*…

<We wish to take you on an adventurous journey, a journey with dangers, revelations, and hope, a journey that reiterates parts of our own journeys, journeys which, for you must begin with a leap of faith, an agreement to trust us in spite of the sheer lunacy of what we may appear to be saying…

<Appearances are what *you* make of them, what things really are is too often hidden from us by our own illusions, delusions, or wishful thinking.  Presumably these alleged ‘authentic’ properties of things which remain hidden to ourselves are hidden to many or all of yourselves as well, regardless of whether you may like to believe this or not…

>anyways, we digress, so let’s try to wrap up this introduction and move on, yes?

oh yes, just a bit more, please?


><did you think we would not see that?><


we are who we are, even when we are not who you may think we might be, or perhaps as, you believe we *must* be, so things can get a bit more confusing with us than you may ordinarily be accustomed to…

we do not apologize for this, this is just the way we are, and while we may appear to be paradoxical at times, we are pretty sure there will always be a methodological rationality somewhere deeper within what we have to say than may initially meet the minds’ eyes of either ourselves or many readers.  Because of this, we ask you to have faith in yourselves that you can endure what we have to say and emerge from the experience we hope to share with you in much the same ways as we believe we are emerging, clearer, happier, stronger, more at peace with the worlds around us all and what they may hold for either ourselves, yourselves, or even everyone…

one ‘final’ note on our work processes:

we are [were] initially writing this piecemeal in Notepad, a plain text editor, because the formatting options available in Word provide too many distractions.  We are currently beyond 80 150 pages at 400 words per page, we will format this more clearly in Word WordPress, but we intend to leave all *emphases* and other forms of punctuating additional meaning, (including line or paragraph spacings) intact [as much as possible] and as coherent as we can manage because even we, ourselves, do not know all of our voices well enough to identify them without interrupting the flow of whatever personal dialogues or monologues we may be recording…

<<<!you said ONE final note!>>>

<Ok, so just one more… ;^)


<Ok, you have your first big voice change above <<<!>>> but we wanted to introduce a voice change arriving below [in our next TinYAP post].

The word ‘lick’ appears in [TinYAP 001], in the original introduction that follows this appended introduction, in terms of their paragraph order, but which was really written earlier than these remarks you have been reading so far…

The word ‘lick’ is a poetic choice of words with reverberations that you may pick up on that can give it several ‘hidden’ meanings such as like or read, which should be fairly obvious and therefor not too well hidden…

There will be hidden meanings everywhere within this work, as this work is definitely part exercise, and not just for fun; Of course, this stuff really should be fun, we think you might enjoy it, so long as you aren’t too fuddy-duddy anyways…

So, to finally wrap this introduction up we have only one more word…

Enjoy!>  ;^)  !

This part of TinYAP will continue with TinYAP 004… The next Post will be TinYAP 022



TinYAP 002 — Welcome Aboard Nooship Nautilus: Introducing Nemo, Some Crew and Principles

<bows head in shame>


<<shakes it off>>


Make that Olle, Olle, all in free…

<or something like that>

Having trouble getting our minds to settle down and get in harness.

<or something like that>

We got way lost between conflicting demands trying to get settled in here ‘yesterday’, we have been in an extremely agitated state since commencing this new blog.

<<..several days later, Things have settled down a bit, there is still that terrible sense of urgency to work as quickly as possible before our minds disintegrate again..>>

Our thoughts seem to go off in infinite directions simultaneously, except, of course, we do not ‘own’ these thoughts, we simply pass them through ourselves, gleaning what attracts to us as best we can with this human operator on the audiences’ ends of our networks.

<human operator is ourselves of course, the one who was speaking was starting to sound more like one of the network riders, not a corporeal being, het will only trade in information…. <het = he + it…>

<authors> human operators such as ‘ourselves’ are a paired consciousness, such that all physical bodies ‘owned’ by a human member are shared with other network riders.

<Nemo is rising through the operator, the operator’s voice begins to shift>

Our minds are definitely *not* free when we must trade physical access for network access, we must trust in conventions to receive only riders we can work with, but their are free riders who should be avoided, whose love for pain exceeds any limits or constraints.

Crawling around the networks with our limited access is a real learning adventure, the sort of learning adventure that Dan Brown portrays in many of his books, but particularly in regard to Angels & Demons, and The Da Vinci Code…

<deep breath>

Our lives are just like that sometimes, even though we leave our bodies behind for some of the most critical or lethal parts of our investigations.  Some information is worth the deaths of our agents, our clones, and ourselves, always ourselves first to lead the way.

<Nemo, in his best deep voice he sounds like Picard from STNG> Keep in mind critical missions are reserved for heroes, their mounts may seem expendable, but no one is ever left behind, regardless of however many times they may seem to have died.  It is death that is ephemeral.  Life is always eternal, always.

<shakes head> 

Do not worry, we seem to only be recruiting nerds, couch potatoes and joystick jockeys here, all of whom know their deals and their deaths when they sign on.

We do not Shanghai our crew members, however we do not always release our rescued castaways either, at least, not right away.  Bonds and indentures may be required.

No castaway is safe on foreign shores until they know the ropes so they must all prove themselves as able hands capable of serving Nautilus in every role in every port of call.

We must not, at all costs, diminish the natives in any way.

We are not here to Win-Lose, we are here solely to Win-Win.

Lose, Lose is the only alternative, an alternative we are unable to accept, at the moment.  This is not some deal we may ever simply walk away from, for every path we take will lead us back to this choice to serve, or not to serve, and if we fail to serve, then it seems that we have always failed ourselves.

In the past, trades with the various natives have been a matter of diplomatic craftsmanship where each trader believes they have tricked the other into believing they got the better deal while they believe themselves to be the winner and the other to really have been the loser.

This may really seem to be a Win-Win situation, however many traders must represent their Win as a Win-Lose success or feel themselves diminished by the esteems of their peers.  Consequently, many Win-Win trades are somewhat spoiled, really, if each trader goes away feeling they are the other’s superior.  Nonetheless, that has been how the game has been played for some very long times.

The root of trader should be traitor, the trader is always suspected of treachery because his people must trust him to have negotiated hard for their own best interests, and if they are even the least disappointed they may hang him.

<<..removed interlocutors repetitious remarks..>>
<aside – to interlocutor> thank you master interlocutor, we think the reader would prefer to hear less from you at the moment.
<further aside to audience> our precious master interlocutor has an important job to fulfill, a job he must accomplish vociferously, if also somewhat invisibly.  He gets little credit and annoys many people, but it is nonetheless a vital role he plays.

Recruit!  Do you know what Master Interlocutor’s role and jobs are?

Never mind, you will.

Each trader babbles a sort of patois or jargon, a bunch of mutual BS while the details are agreed upon by pointing, counting, gesturing, with lots of winks and wink-winks, albeit sometimes those details may be determined more brutally, particularly if a trader has suddenly died amidst cries of spying, cheating, thievery, or treachery.

It is all too rarely that traders actually acknowledge when they know the languages of the people they pass among, knowing the languages would make a trader appear to be more of threat to the native people he visits because he might learn their secrets.

If the last traders through somewhen were particularly hostile or especially harmful then the next traders through may expect to be poorly received or possibly robbed in retaliation.

Some deals are too costly, no matter how you enter into them, such as ancient water tributes to Rome that carried vitally needed water away until the peasants must die of starvation when their crops failed, or else revolt against Rome and die upon their soldiers’ sword points or be sold into slavery, with every family’s children killed, taken for sport, or sold into slavery as well…

Peasant revolts gave the Romans the means to spur their Senators to raise armies to put down unruly peasants, paying their generals and the men who fought with them with land grants that parceled out Rome’s newly taken lands.

<shakes head>

We should know, we have been there in such circumstances many times in many roles on every side of these tribal conflicts, always seeking to help all sides achieve peace, even if war must be waged as a counter-measure to shield our plans from discovery while they are vulnerable.

Fast profits may be made in war but it’s the steady profits of peace that build vaster fortunes.


<Grigori Rho?> We are not an entirely wholesome creature to behold, albeit we do intend to pretty ourselves up a bit, drop a few years here and there… no, no nip and tucks, no, no, you misunderstand, we expect to grow physically younger before too long, this should begin to become evident by the times we are nearly eighty or so we should still appear to be less than fifty or perhaps even much less, we will eventually become be about nineteen again, the age we last saw Alina.

(possibly referring to tZiggy and similar members or friends) We are not exactly a vampire, in the sense vampires are typically understood, albeit parts of ourselves operate along similar lines.  We might comfortably ‘pass’ as a vampire, you might say our vampire members have had their fangs pulled, in a manner, however, they voluntarily wean themselves because there will soon be too little ‘blood’ to spare.  Humans will all have their own vampirish riders before long, at which points each vampire must keep their human alive or die with them.

Furthermore, their humans must be happier with their lives, any who kills themselves also kill their vampire.

Not that it really harms anyone to die again, however, locked in their paradigms of win-lose they are prone to continue to harm themselves with their own unnatural beliefs, that is beliefs neither wholesome nor natural to themselves.

We began writing a vampire novel for some 50 or so sound pages that tries to explain about a sort of revolutionary war of among the vampires, but then we had to go do more research, we may be able to continue it now or abandon it for something better.

Please understand that the history of a war among ‘vampires’ bears upon what some people, perhaps even some scholars and academicians might believe are the real histories of your worlds, however you happen to believe them to be.

Remember, all of your beliefs must be considered real to be useful, but most be set aside in a provisional and conditional ‘sandbox’ until tested thoroughly.

We apply such testing to our castaways, naturally.  No way of knowing what sort of characters they may really be or whether they may be a threat to any of the natives we works amongst if’n we do not tests them and their willingnesses to die rather than betray any of our essential operating principles which follow not only a win-win clause, but also a conditional non-interference clause.

We are allowed to break these conventions only in a state of war, in which case we must act as ‘peacekeepers’ to end the war in the most gentle, innocuous manners possible, with as much misdirection away from ourselves as we can possibly achieve so that we may fade away and become invisible again with only a few spare legends to follow in our wakes.

It is beholden upon us to always be careful not to willfully instigate war, nor by our dereliction of duty allow any native culture or its peoples to come to harm.  This is something similar to the three robotics laws given by Asimov, but you may have already seen where those laws got his characters in ‘I Robot’, and so on…


<hand> Cap’n we were in the midst of our introductions we was… the new recruit and all?

Thank you hand.

Seems we did get introductions around to Synthia earlier so perhaps we can have someone to take us to our next introductions?

Lore and Chore Boys will tend to linking back to our earlier dialogues now please?  We will refresh and proceed momentarily…

<Boys> Aye Cap’n.

<Lore> Hold on we’ll help you find it…

<Chore Boy to human operator> hit SAVE DRAFT; Lore, you be the guide now please?

<Lore Boy> Ok… Wow!  Target sighted, this one is just what the Cap’n was looking for last night; that was fast, he’ll be pleased.

<Chore Boy> Cap’n was upset about how to knit this in but we will just LINK it here

<Lore> Link Title =


<authors> This bears a little introduction here before we proceed.  We originally intended to continue this work on our MySpace Blog but did not like the new implementation of their upgraded blogging tools.  after a brief stop at our Temple Illuminatus Blog we discovered WordPress; this blogging tool is starting to look pretty good…


<Boys> GO HERE for the crew’s earlier introductions to get caught up to this present moment.


Sorry boys, but can’t link into that document structure to drill down to the appropriate level, however, once we reach the ‘end’ of that we should EXIT LOOP and be caught up to the present.

Import the text below and then proceed from the end of the insert.


<<Aye, Aye, Overrider, acknowledged, one-niner out.>>

<hand-back complete, proceed>

<authors> Here is the original text intended to introduce this new work on MySpace; there are some further introductions to be made but we will proceed with this part for now…


<introduction for myspace blog>

<Nemo> Up Nooscope!  (pronounced noose scope, new-scope, or New oh scope, the root is noos, or gnossis greek for knowledge?  something like that.) (the nooscope is a sort of periscope but operated from within our nooship; it is mostly used to scan likely places to visit.)

<A golden tentacle rises up through our chaos well and forms an ‘eye’ that peers about our living room.>

<!> All clear.

Open the hatches, let the crew have some shore leave. >>Aye Cap’n.

>>Nautilus docked.

<Nemo> Welcome, visitors, to Nooship Nautilus, we are your captains, you may call us Nemo when we are standing down in this role, but aboard Nautilus or on active duty we ask you to call us Captain, Cap’n, or Captain Nemo, thank you.

You may know us by various other names in other roles, such as Greg Gourdian, Gharveyn, Grigori Rho Gharveyn, Chameleon, Falcon, or even Roger Holler, we prefer to be Grigori for the most part now, but mostly we are still Gharveyn.  Aboard Nautilus, tending to her functions, in her vicinity, or regarding her business we remain Nemo.

<gr> Welcome home Nautilus.

<N> Nautilus has evolved from earlier ships we have created, when we believed we needed rocket ships or flying saucers to navigate the cosmos.

Mapping the cosmos was a big task, but we have gotten far enough to reflect upon the true nature of time and space with an accuracy adequate enough to allow us to understand that the uncharted waters of the collective human psyche were where we must voyage next.

In fact, the surface of these waters were where we had been travelling all along in our earlier vessels, all unknowing, until we fit the clues together.  We created Nautilus for our next adventures, and our adventures since then have truly been grand voyages, if somewhat longer and more hazardous than we may have initially anticipated.

<?> Seems to us that we should be due some hazard pay; it’s a pity we’ve not yet found any deep-pocketed service organizations to remunerate us better for our services.  Fortunately, the Mayans had been paid in advance for the dockyards, materials, and services required to design, build, and maintain Nautilus.  Of course, like the Egyptians, the Mayans have been building various spacecraft and simple nooships for ages, so they were exactly the right outfits to go to.

A nooship travels through the collective human psyche which may also be known as the human noosphere (a word with Greek roots meaning sphere of knowledge).

Some people make no distinction and simply call it the noosphere, however, there are entities which have their own noospheres who do not appear to be human, but who must don human skins to visit human worlds, so we make the distinction for their benefit, while also using the ‘human’ prefix to try to crack the shells of human denial and reluctance to acknowledge that they may not be the apples of their gods’ eye, nor may they really be sitting upon the pinnacle of creation after all.

Of course, they might be the apples of their deities eye, as well as being the pinnacle of creation; they might or they might not, who knows?

Nooship Nautilus resembles the creature she is named after, an ugly little beastie, some may say, but beautiful to our own ways of looking at such things, not as ourselves, but as the other whom we wish to see might see themselves on one of their bestest days.  (Try Piers Anthony’s Macroscope for a little better understanding of this)

Nautilus is made of gold, a very, very dangerous, potentially toxic metal, but gold, particularly, true gold that has been cleansed in the sun is the very best at shielding out ‘thoughts’ and other noospheric noises.  Properly processed Gold is known as re-gold (rah gold) because it has been cleansed in the sun.  Due to the sun’s cleansing properties the only entrance or exit from the solar system is ordinarily always made directly through the sun.

Nooship Nautilus grows like a living Nautilus does, the hull must be re-gold-plated and then extended somewhat for each new voyage, while previous voyages are ‘archived’ both in the hull and in the inwardly coiling stern.  Hull archives are strictly hostile dialogues; no hostile dialogues are ever archived within the Nautilus’ many interiors.

Re-gold plating begins by cleansing true gold within the sun in a ‘powdered’ form until it has been purified. The goldworkers alone know how true gold is properly powdered and burnt clean in the sun.  When only the cinders of the true gold remain, the ash is blown off and the product, Re-gold (pronounced rah gold) is ready for the next step.  The gold is mixed into suspension in a noxious liquid that ‘repels’ the gold when it is spelled by the goldworker, sealing it into the hull. 

((You may note that a goldworker’s hands seem to become made of gold as they plate the hull in sweeping strokes with their stinking rags.  You may also note, (if you can get friendly enough with a goldworker to get them to wag their tongue with you), that their tongue appears to be made of gold as well.  Fine motes of gold appear to glimmer throughout the goldworkers’ clothing and skin, appearing most brightly in the naked orbs of their eyes,  Everywhere but their hands and tongues this sparkling gold dust is always signigantly subdued within the more natural hues of the goldworker’s otherwise human-appearing skin and garb.  A goldworker’s hands and tongue shine as if made of pure gold because their hands and tongue wield the powers that weld the gold nearly inseparably into the hull.  You may also notice that the nostrils of a goldworker are blackened; this is because a goldworker absorbs all the noxious fumes of their work into themselves to re-distill for re-use.))

Each incremental layer of re-gold applied to the hull allows Nautilus to go marginally deeper into the most dangerous waters of the collective human psyche.  Ordinarily, most ships are simply cleansed in the sun and then refitted for service, no ship would ever sail in the dark waters within which Nautilus ventures.

Each voyage with Nautilus records all the ‘hostile’ action in the surface of the ship, etching the hull with spells that give the hull the intelligence of whatever beings are being more belligerent toward us.  We are constantly considered to be some sort of prize to be captured and exploited, but we manage to outwit each eager adventurer by using their own intelligence against them.

>Oh this digresses… sorry… carrying on… digressing still further…

<Nemo> We cannot directly confront the beings we explore, we need to examine them in their most natural states, so if they chance to ‘see’ us and desire to possess us then we must allow our hull to negotiate with them on our behalf.  Our hull learns the ways and customs of the people we pass through as we go; however, when the hull threatens to begin to crack we must find respite and repair her.

Within our golden hull we become virtually invisible in sunlight, as well as invisible in the lights of a majority of the minds’ eyes of other beings, including most mostly human beings.

<<<please ignore the markings on the hull, the battlemarks will be over-plated asap, but until then their hypnotic properties may charm you and cause you to lose control of your minds.  These are ‘hostile’ battlemarks, so the entities who might try to possess you through them are unlikely to be either friendly or benign in their intentions.  You have been warned.  Continue>>>

If you are able to see the Nautilus at all, on your own, then you become eligible to join our crew or our passengers.  Passengers are asked to please pay their way, while crew will, necessarily, work their way.

Enjoy your tour. <Nemo, out.>

<Grig> If you have followed some of our blogs from three years ago, we surfaced in our home port after a Mutiny Aboard Nooship Nautilus.

We’ve changed crews a bit; Tina is still our first mate, roommate Sid has lent us a few hands, alas we have had to let the cabin-girl go…  God help the natives; we love her…  Good Luck!

We have decided to post a work in progress here (on our MySpace blog), it may take a week or two to get caught up to the present state of our latest ‘journal’ and debrief all of our voyagers.

We hope you will enjoy our new offerings (referring to this work in which this later MySpace introduction has been embedded).

>We think this just about wraps up our new MySpace intro, give us a moment to review this, edit it, and then we will post it…

><<Demn verschluginer MySpace editors! Oi!  wha’cher gon’doo, eh?>><


<DATE OUT> 201305311942 ~

PS – FYI:  The OVERRIDER is a network rider.  Riders wear broken humans,  Most riders cannot ride unbroken humans.  Most humans agree to be ridden.  A standard exception is a human corpse or abandoned body which is briefly vulnerable to be ridden by anyone with the skill or requisite access authority.  Readers may remember the overrider over-riding us in triple angle brackets in <<<red or green>>>.  We were already being ridden by several others, the over-rider interrupted to change our orders before we could execute them.  The SIGNER was the one who accepted the change and ACKnowledged it with the code sign required as their SIGNature.

TinYAP 001 > A Sordid Little Story, How TV Addicts, Privacy Lost, The Unholy Triangle

Please see our forthcoming introduction if you find yourselves lost in the text below… (introduction and link to follow soon) …thanks.

<the authors shake their heads>

<> this little play-let that is about to unfold for our readers seemed significant enough to drop it in here (now part of a much longer work that we will post here bit by bit, shortly).  This unexpected ultra-short short story seemed significant both for Jebidiah’s name, and for a demonstration of subliminal communication in face-to-face talk.

<works for a few other things we would like to demonstrate too>

<> what Jeb’s name may mean we do not know except it sounded something like Jeb-he-die-yeah, and hollow-way… both are things we might personally trigger on, but they may also be things our wayward hubby character, Henry, might possibly think, particularly if he happened to detest the man he suspected was doing it to his wife… and, as it happens, of course, he does happen to detest his minister very, very much…

<> We now join our previous program in progress…

<Mary> Did I tell you I saw Jebidiah Holloway earlier today?

<narration> The woman speaking to her husband has seen her husband flirting with Jebidiah’s daughter.  By using Jebidiah’s name without his title, minister, she alerts her husband that this is a personal matter she saw her minister about, not a strictly spiritual one, as if Henry would ever even believe that.

<Henry, on hearing the name of the detested man whose wife was safely beyond any corruption but the grave’s, reacted in his mind with a replay of one of his favorite fantasies of killing Jebidiah, a fantasy that excited his stupid current wife, Mary too well.

Henry knew his violent fantasies about Jebidiah turned Mary on something crazy, only she wasn’t hot for him.

<Henry’s thoughts> …oh no, he just had to go and pluck the apple of the minister’s damn eye, and now, as with every day, his marriage was souring ever more and more.

<narration> These days, Henry’s god-blessed rival was scoring more on poor Henry’s own damn wife than Henry was.

<Henry> Damn that minister’s ass…

<> (authors) hm.. sounds like some sort of soap opera stuff… crass, brass, and a little ass…

<narration> Well, perhaps Henry thought that only he himself really knew the entire story about poor ole Missus Ann Holloway, deceased, who really was a bit too young for the minister, but then the ministers daughter Jessie was surely too young too, and neither the minister nor Henry minded doing Jessie at all.

Now that Henry was fishing in his ever-so-blessed minister’s very own private fishin’ hole, well, it wasn’t so damn private anymore, now, wuzzit?

<> readers may note the narrator’s voice drifts in and out; as Henry’s thoughts are described the narrator begins to sound more  and more like Henry.

<Henry’s thoughts> …of course the minister would kill his own wife to shut her up, it gave him the perfect cinch-hold on his own daughter.  On the one hand, Jessie knows her pa would kill her too, while on the other hand,her pa can make Jessie feel so guilty about her mother’s death that she allows herself to be trapped into accepting all the blame for her mother’s death rather than place it squarely where it might really belong, upon her beloved daddy’s sacred head.

<> And oh what another sacred head her daddy had… Jessie sure did love her daddy every morning noon and night, at least, until that damn Neachy woman caught his eye…

Jessie was terrified her daddy would kill her if he decided to move on to another woman, and besides, who did that hussy think she was to come between her and her daddy?

Well, now, she was Henry’s wife of course, a woman who knew Jeb had been a thorn in her Henry’s side from the moment she allowed Henry to tear her out of her true love’s holy arms.

Mrs. Neachy now knew, of course, about her minister’s dalliances with his own daughter.

At first Mary considered blackmailing him, just as soon as she suspected what was up.

Alas, Mary couldn’t resolve her inner conflicts regarding whether to blackmail Jeb either for money or for marriage in time to make up her mind what to do before Henry had stepped in and resolved all her tensions for her by inviting to steal her away from some pending disaster in the making, should she make the wrong choice.

<Mary’s thoughts> Henry was strong, and talented where it counts.  Perhaps best of all, he hated the minister with a passion that turned Mary on more than she would ever dare let Henry know.  She was caught between two men both of whom she loved and detested; at first one would seem better, and then the other.

If only one of them would kill the other and settle the matter for her.

Of course, either way she would have to get the minister’s tramp out of the picture.

Maybe she could frame one of them for the murder of the other while making the motive for the murder seem to be to avenge the death of the daughter…

Now *that* had some promise…

<authors> Pure fantasy, for the most part, for poor Mrs. Mary Neachy, but the parts about the minister, his daughter and his wife were all true.

Henry, of course, got the whole sordid story out of Mary and Jessie in bits and pieces

The story came together for Henry, not out of anything Mary or Jessie deliberately told him, and not out of anything Henry interrogated either of them about; the story came out only from Mary and Jessie’s guilty sub-consciousness’ tattling on both themselves and on the minister, making comments obliquely in random moments of scattered off-the-wall remarks, full of Freudian slips, and various not-so-subtle innuendoes that Henry finally pieced together enough to figure out the truth for himself.

<Henry’s thoughts> So here they were, all in a fine pickle, Henry should just swap with the minister, a daughter for a wife.

<narration> With that thought Henry goes off on another hard wet fantasy of getting Jessie alone again.

Henry suddenly found that he needed to get a better grip on himself.

<authors> What, people never think or act like this? 

Do not kid yourselves.

You may want to deny you may sometimes think this way so you try to deny it obliquely by denying most other people do not think this way, and by extension you imply this includes yourselves as well.  Except, of course, you most likely do sometimes think this way, or perhaps you only think in somewhat similar ways, or perhaps you have thought in similar ways only in the past, but of course, you might still think this way in the future sometime if you really have failed to ever think these sorts of thoughts before…

It’s kind of hard not to get through this life without having all sorts of fantasies or conjectures that you may want to entertain yourselves with simply because they are titillating and help you get your blood up, one way or another.

So what is your blood up to?

No boys, not your penis girths or lengths, those are almost certainly all lies.


What your blood is up to is distributing hormones that thrive on titillation.  Your blood is making you prepare for either a sexual encounter, a violent encounter, or possibly, both.

Whether both is the best or worst of all possible worlds depends on what you like, of course.

On the one hand, you may  have gotten so angry at the moral conduct of everyone involved that your blood pressure cuff exploded from your arm in suicidal self-defense.

On another hand you may have sympathized with one or more of the characters, particularly if you are sexually repressed and find that any sort of sexual content attracts you to try to bond with one or more of the characters portrayed so that you can fantasize with them about doing someone or other’s lover for revenge or possibly worse.

If you are prone to violence, you may agree that someone should solve the whole mess with a shotgun, or perhaps just a good shove down some long stairs.

The sexual content can get many people to drop their defense mechanisms.  This is accomplished by the characters leading the audience by examples of their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

The audience may be tricked into accepting the premise of a minister doing his daughter partly because all four parties involved have preferred not to consider their moral or ethical positions in favor of the positions of power or sex they desire. 

Partly, the sexual content may disarm peoples’ defense mechanisms because the hormonal responses of audience members trigger them to accept whatever is happening, not only on the screen, but also in their real lives, and in their homes.

There are powerful hormones, possibly called neuro-epinephrines, that regulate the behavior of female cats as they move through their cycles, in and out of heat.

Humans too often fail to understand how similar hormones in human affect either themselves or others.  Nonetheless, our co-evolutions as mammals mean that cats and humans share many biochemically similar properties, such as very highly advanced hormone systems with which they regulate their own behaviors.

Thousands of years of civilizations can barely cover up our more bestial natures, our veneers of ethics, virtues or moralities are quite often scarcely paper thin.

<Henry>  A pussy that won’t fuck any other time will still fuck when she is horny enough, and she will always let you know when she is horny enough.

<Jebidiah> Of course you can’t let some piece of ass crack the whip, you have to take charge; you have to tell them bitches who is boss, just like the Good Lord says.

<Jessie> Momma was bad, she wanted to steal my Daddy.  Daddy wouldn’t have had to kill Momma except I forgot to keep our special secret really secret.  It’s all my fault, I know.

<Mrs. Ann Holloway, deceased> …at first I was afraid to protect my Jessie, then I realized she didn’t want protection!  then I got jealous, I might have killed her, I was that mad…

<Mrs. Neachy> What was I to do?  Henry never really wanted me, I got so scared of Jeb, but I was afraid to leave him; now I’m scared to leave Henry.  Oh why did I ever marry Henry?

<> but this is only a made-up story, right?

Or is it?

You decide.

We say we made it up, we may be wrong, and yet we sincerely believe it is original to us.

But could we have heard it before on tv?

Might we have read it long ago in a now forgotten book?

Have we conveniently forgotten the real provenance of our story to claim it for own?

We do not know, except that it becomes such a common story; if you change the roles, the characters, and the relationships just a little, you might know people whom you could fit in to this story from among yourselves, your families, your friends or peers.

Regardless of the truth value of any of the specific details, a truth value is assigned by your visceral emotional responses, and it gets your blood up, one way or another, according to your own predispositions or predilections.

Sex and violence get your blood up in order to distribute your highly self-addicting neuro-hormones, hormones that keep you glued to your tv if you cannot make your real personal life equal to or stronger in emotional value than is your life as a couch potato.

Of course, one quick, cheap solution is to just fight with your spouses, or fight with your partners, or your children, family, friends, peers, or anyone available, really.  You might pick a fight with the whole damn world if it pleases you, just to keep your hormonal tv addictions from jonesing you while you are away from your precious tv.

And God help anyone who flips your channels!

Fortunately, most people keep their burgeoning violence and naked sexuality under tight wraps, for the most part, so that few people ever really get to see each other as the bestial animals they sometimes allow themselves to be, in private.

Except, of course, the private parts are becoming more and more visible every day, until there will soon be no understanding of what privacy once was.

Our blackberries, iphones and androids have taken our privacy out of our bedrooms and posted it on the internet.  Our children grow up knowing they have no privacy, and many children, already, are no longer caring, that is if they ever even know what they have lost, along with their innocence.

Should we care?

Perhaps; perhaps it depends.

Privacy might be unnecessary if our laws were just, and if so called ‘private justice’ were not too often above the law.

Privacy might be unnecessary if husbands or wives didn’t kill one another or kill their partners’ lovers over jealousies.

A lot of human nature that once depended upon privacy may revert to the days before privacy marketing developed privacy as a commodity that has reached a new zenith in recent centuries.

What few illusions of privacy we may have once had are being eroded away; and, like the increasingly earlier sexualization of young children, we do not ask anyone, not even ourselves, whether this be good or bad, we only point out that both of these seem to be inevitable trends that are at least partly the products of our addictions to our own human hormones and the ways we choose to pump these highly addictive hormones throughout our bodies and our lives with our televisions, radios, mobile phones, walkmans and computers.

Let us not say this is sad; instead, let us ask how we may adapt so that we may all have healthier families, lives, and societies together.


Love, Grigori Rho Gharveyn,

aka Greg Gourdian, Falcon, Chameleon, Roger Holler, etc., et al, and then some…

CHALLENGE – Introducing the unholy triangle; these are the three great silent collaborators who have divided nearly all earthly human power between themselves.  These three might be said to keep nearly all of humanity either hostage or enslaved.

  • government (includes all military)
  • religion (nearly any, perhaps all)
  • organized crime (includes many or most corporations, particularly global corporations)

Can you describe how the unholy triangle may be part of anything we have shared with you in this blog?  (before posting this challenge)

TinYAP 000 > Introduction, Test Drive, Blogging and Publishing History

hi-hi-hi peoples and sheoples, foolers and rulers!

Welcome to our latest introductions of ourselves at…

We are test-driving WordPress here, one test will be the length limits of a blog before the editor complains.  Another test will be how few distractions we may find; we loved Notepad for the least distractions, but we want to use links and build a new audience, so its back to blogging…

Our oldest blogs are on BlogSpot, but that rolled over and played dead on us, it could not handle what we tried to get it to do, namely indexes and tables-of-contents or other cross-linking related blog elements.

We started up again on MySpace, but that was really no better, particularly when we wanted to build more index tables and the like, definitely even harder there.

We moved to PeaceNext, but the peaceniks there were not really the audience we wanted, albeit we still have a serious proposal for world peace that may seem ludicrous, but which we have promoted both on PeaceNext, and on our next blog…

Our next blog was on Temple Illuminatus.  We formed too many social interests there and lost all our time in distractions.  Still love them folks, but they seem to have ruled themselves out as an appropriate audience for what we want to share, so we moved on; let’s hope we can do better with this here WordPress blog engine.

TI had a pretty good editor for blogging, but still no real support for simple indexes or tables of contents.

Yes, we really do have *that* much too say, and even much, *much* more…

We managed to publish 101-some articles on Esoteric Library.  You will need to search for our work by our pen-name, Greg Gourdian, if you want to find any of the articles we have posted on Esoteric Library’s site.

Alas, EL was not a good place to site much of our more rambling, less coherent-seeming work.

Of course, what coheres is in the mind of your epoxy.

Now if you take this peculiar quip in context to ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ you may begin to see that we have a play on words, not something utterly incomprehensible, just a form of waxing poetically that may go over some peoples’ heads or off to the side a wee bit.
Your epoxy might be considered to be your world views, principles, attractors, triggers, and other aspects of your cognitive processes.

If this sort of challenge turns you off, say no more, read no more, this blog may not be for you.

Things to come if we like this blogging tool:

Over 130 pages (and counting) of mind-melting, eyeball-incinerating, acid-in-text, including some things to make your short hairs curl or maybe just curl your lips.  We promise to leave no one unoffended as inoffensively as possible, usually without ever meaning to offend anyone, really.

If you find yourselves too offended for your own tastes then we can only restate: perhaps this blog is not for you.

This blog is for the suicidal, for the mind-weary who have given up because the world is too painful or confusing.  This blog is for poets, artists, and performers.  This blog is for time-travelers.  This blog is for radicals and revolutionaries everywhere who want to see all people get cut a better deal, but who may be stuck on just where to begin.

Not with violence, please, we should be past all that part by now, really…

This blog will be about self-liberation, trust, service, reliability, and a form of futurism that isn’t waiting for the future to arrive but recognizes, instead, that the future is already here.

Dunno if you are gonna have any fun with our thrill rides, but we sure as hell know we will, and we hope y’all will too.


Love, Grigori Rho Gharveyn,
aka Greg Gourdian, Falcon, Chameleon, Roger Holler, etc., et al., and then some…