Tag Archives: suicide

Schrodinger’s Ghosts – Belief in Ghosts and The Big Bang

 

Schrodinger’s Ghosts – Belief in Ghosts and The Big Bang
Preface
Instead of arguing against us, please experiment with trying to find arguments which may agree with us.  Instead of imagining how what we say cannot possibly be true, please first try to imagine, with us, how what we say here may really be true.

All people unconsciously defend what they believe to be true.  It is not possible to accept something dissimilar to what you believe if you allow your unconscious defense mechanisms to distort our messages here in order to suit the cultural prerogatives your human operant-conditioning has been programmed to defend.

Your cultural prerogatives lie to you.  We hope to help you set yourself free. Continue reading

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TinYAP 031 — So! You want to be our psychotherapist?

Pink Floyd, (un)Comfortably Numb…

We yearn for the old days of therapy, days when our therapists were more like partners in a mutual quest for some functional, agreeable truths rather than surrogate annihilators whose jobs it has become to act on behalf of society to eliminate us as a source of social unrest, who make it their jobs to annihilate our thoughts and feelings because we make you sick with them.

Our diseases are highly contagious, they may infect anyone who cares enough to listen to what we have to say with an open mind.

We should not be quarantined simply because we make ourselves or other people sick, and yet, the social defense mechanisms that were parts of our own human operant conditioning require us to sequester ourselves; as a fail-safe, similar mechanisms learned by other people require them to close their hearts and minds to us and turn away.

This makes it difficult for us to find a therapist.  The only therapy we can afford is the meanest sort, the sort of therapy that has been put in place by society to ensure we never spread our diseases to anyone who might dare to help us spread them even further.

If we seek therapy from any of the sort of bottom-of-the-ladder clinical establishments we might still be unable to afford we put ourselves at risk of being defined as a clear and present danger to both ourselves and to other people; we might then be quarantined for the good of all concerned, lest we succeed in infecting many more people with ideas that may make us seem dangerously unwholesome to society at large.

And of course, there is nothing we would like better than to spread our diseases to everyone we come in contact with.

The most lethal weapons on this planet are harbored in the minds of everyone you know.

So what can we do about this?

If we must begin by presuming our own thoughts are so self-destructive that we will willingly participate in rituals that will inevitably destroy nearly all life on earth, then perhaps we must find a means of neutralizing this threat without also killing any of the patients or ourselves.

We would prefer not to continue living in quarantine; however, so far as we know, it is beyond our ability to lift our quarantine on our own.

All of our efforts to communicate with other people seem to come to an end when their cultural defense mechanisms kick in and remove us from their attention, by distracting their awareness away from us.  If we enter too deeply into their psychological space they may become physically ill, they may experience dizziness, nausea, headaches, or worse symptoms as a consequence of just talking with us.

Trying not to crap your pants when your bowels suddenly spasm without warning is a sure-fire way to distract yourselves in order to avoid listening to anything more we may try to say to you.

Of course, reciprocally, you have the power to make us ill with what you say as well.

Perhaps worst of all, we have the power to make ourselves ill enough that we must stay at home and can never come near nearly anyone else whom we also might make ill.

And, of course, our girlfriend and our room-mate are both sick of us.

Our girlfriend Tina is our prisoner, she is trapped here, she is condemned to live with us even though we make her sick and even though she makes us sick as well.

We wish it could be different; alas, given how things are, it seems inevitable Tina may someday choose to leave us, quite possibly by killing herself.

Perhaps she will be kind enough to kill us first.

So why should she kill herself?

And why should she kill us first?

Love.

We sincerely love Tina; we sincerely believe Tina sincerely loves us.

Alas, Tina appears to be powerless to stop herself from hurting us; as nearly as we can tell, we may be equally powerless to stop ourselves from hurting her.

That’s really fucked up, but it is also true.

This is not exactly another paradox, but well… you know… it is just how things really are.

Tina has forbidden us to kill ourselves or to die before she dies, so maybe Tina will be unable to kill us, and may only kill herself instead.

So why should Tina kill herself?

Well for all the best reasons, of course.

Too much pain, too much despair, too little hope, too little joy.

We are Tina’s joy, sometimes.  But too often we are her pain.  Tina has lots of pain, so perhaps we are not all of Tina’s pain, but we are Tina’s world, so our pains are her pains, and we are in a lot of pain.

And because Tina is our world, all of Tina’s pains are our pains, so we are in even more pain.

But were we in even more pain before we ever met Tina?

Before we met Tina we were in enough pain that we might have killed ourselves again.

We like dying, it hurts like hell, but it gets our soul clean for a little while, we can feel well for a few passing, pleasant eternities before once more returning to our stinking, belching flesh and carrying on our earthly duties once again.

Our deaths are good, but we must always return to the pains of our lives and pick up whenever, wherever , or whoever we were when we last left off.

Think of it as a sort of ‘no-littering’ ordinance; we are forbidden to leave our corpses strewn all across the various multiverses in which we have once more died again.

We must eventually, always reanimate every life we ever leave.  (This may be true for you too…)

So why is Tina trapped?  Can’t she move on without killing herself?

We do not want Tina to leave us; we believe Tina does not want to leave us.  Alas, neither of us may be able to love the other without either hurting themselves or hurting each other.

We cannot speak to Tina without causing her to harm herself; by causing Tina to self-harm, we consequently cause harm to ourselves as well.

Nor can Tina speak with us without causing us to harm ourselves, and by harming ourselves cause us to harm her as well.

So the obvious thing to do is to leave, except that leaving would hurt too much, leaving would hurt so much that we both would rather die, regardless of who chooses to leave who first.

So far, this has been the best we can do with Tina, a person whom we might wish we could love more than any other.

So how can we do better?

We were hoping a therapist might help.

We tend to neither like nor trust men, so we generally prefer a woman counselor.  We do not want a male counselor who might try to prop up his own immoral chauvinist behavior by trying to make us a co-conspirator in his own sickening, culturally-acquired pet paradigms.

However, a woman counselor may terrify us because we are overly familiar with the sorts of arguments we might consider using to get Tina to leave us if we were Tina’s counselor.  We find it hard to believe that a woman counselor would not feel compelled to somehow side with Tina against us because we might appear to be some sort of threat to Tina’s welfare; a threat we might possibly agree exists, but for which we believe we can take little or no responsibility because the threat was programmed into Tina’s initial human operant conditioning, long before we ever met Tina.

Anyways…

We do not want therapy to become an adversarial game, and yet, it may be the case that all therapists must perceive their clients as adversaries; possibly, all patients must also see their therapists as adversaries as well.

Nevertheless, we believe we want help.

We do not want help returning to the fold, we do not wish to be a sheople.

We want help changing the entire world; we are pretty sure nothing less will really help us.

Of course, we could be wrong, but first you will have to convince us we are wrong, and we will not listen to you if you will not also listen to us.

Alas, modern therapy has no more time for listening; and yet, we are also so-very-tired of being told we must shut up.

We are aware that we sound like a lot of other people whom we have seen sequestered for the comfort of society.  It is easy to label us psychotic, schizophrenic, or worse.

You may call us any kind of crazy we may appear to be to you; you may call us a basket-case.

You may call us hopelessly insane and walk away from us feeling justified that your compassion would only be wasted on us because, in your own smug opinions, we must either be genuinely crazy or even worse, we might be willfully mad.

We might admit we might be willfully mad, but if so, then we would say that we might be willfully mad with a purpose; we are determined to become well.  Alas, as we see matters, our madness provides the only doors through which we may begin to seek any cures.

Once you understand why we are mad you may become mad too; this may make us seem like a threat to you unless, perhaps, you know yourselves to be similarly mad already.

We are delighted to take that risk, the question is, do you have enough faith in yourselves to join us in our madness and possibly help us heal our pain as well as your own?

If not, then perhaps you could at least please help us to find someone braver than you, someone more compassionate, someone more willing to risk exceeding the limits of their own self-destructive self-interests.

We have a lot to say, all of which may be relevant not only to healing ourselves, but to healing all of yourselves and the entire collective human races as well.

In a toxic world, we make you sick by reminding you of how you are making yourselves sick. 

When you can no longer tolerate the sickness already inside yourselves you may blame us for bringing your sickness to your attention; you may and abandon us to our own pain, confusion, and despair rather than continue to the root of the problem in order to try to learn to heal it.

The entire world is lethally toxic.  You can only rely upon defense mechanisms based upon denial; ignoring any possibility of escaping your plights because you have learned to believe that you are powerless to change them.

We remind you that parts of yourselves still want to stop all the pain, and worse, that you really do still feel helpless to do so.

We remind you that in your despair you have wanted to kill yourselves.  We remind you that you still have no reasons to hope for anything better than your favorite mind-numbing games of bread and circuses.

We remind you of how much you still want to find something better within yourselves; and yet, you cannot seem to stop yourselves from continuing to make matters worse.

No amount of paint on your houses will fix the toxic wastes coming from our paint factories.

It’s time to make less paint, but you are so addicted to keeping up your fabulous, white-washed appearances that it appears as if you might really rather die first, even if, by carrying on in your self-destructive ways, you risk killing everyone else as well.

Shame on you, shame on all of us.

Stop whitewashing unbearable truths, stop hiding away from truths that may only be changed with the courage to finally face up to them.

What false, toxic, truths might be better bared?

Whatever you may already believe, for starters.

All mokitas must finally be spoken…

Are you game?

You are already infected, you were infected before you ever met us, your initial human operant conditioning was an inevitable, socially-transmitted infectious process; now you must learn to change your programming, your own most precious survival depends upon it.

So let’s begin…

Just the Same by Gentle Giant…
(we chose this version for the vocalist’s superficial resemblance to Alina, wait ’til you see the credits, spooky do…)

Enjoy!

Love, Grigori Rho Gharveyn,
aka Greg Gourdian, Falcon, Chameleon, Roger Holler, etc., et al., ad absurdum, ad infinitum…

TinYAP 029 — Mind Control, Vigilantism, Bullying, Ostracism, Loneliness, Pain, Dehumanization

Torch-bearing villagers chase a monster through the dark night…

This is a scene from numerous horror movies; collectively, this scene becomes the most memorable, the most graphic, the most instructive message of the genre.

What does this scene teach us?

Perhaps the most important message is that there are times when it is socially acceptable to hunt monsters, and to hunt as a pack, as a mob of blood-thirsty avengers.

Nevermind whether fire-brandishing mobs misunderstand the monsters whom they hunt, monsters who may deserve more sympathy and compassion for who and what they are.

Mob justice was a more common phenomenon in ages past, particularly when there was little or no law to guide the hands of justice as a mob’s eager hands lynch some poor person trapped amidst the crimes of a community that lie in wait for some anonymous stranger to appear in their midst and be branded the villain of their crimes in order to satisfy the terrible fear, anger, and tension of an isolated village.

Supernatural causes for the disappearances of children and loved ones have also explained away the crimes of villains who hide as wolves among sheep and who manipulate events to shift the burden of their guilt toward whomever is hapless enough to make themselves a likely decoy to draw justice away from themselves.

The encroachment of law and order upon these communities, the shrinking of the distances between villages that have outgrown themselves, the appropriations of justice by church and state that tolerate little or no competition within their jurisdictions have all diminished the regular arisal of mob justice that might once have dominated many, most, or even all human communities.

However, mob justice accomplishes what the laws of god or man sometimes cannot; mob justice is sometimes still a useful tool by which to prosecute and punish some of the monsters that dare to prey on our communities.  Consequently, we must find ways to teach successive generations to accept and to participate in mob justice, albeit there may still be little or no real justice to it at all.

Remember…

The village was small, the sentries posted along the roads at night could keep no order within, each householder must keep order for themselves as best they could each night.

Around the burning embers of fires that have been banked for the night children and adults gather for stories told with chores.  Mending and whittling, weaving or fletching, there was always work for idle hands, and there were always willing hands ready to find mischief as well.

Unruly children eager to explore were a potential threat to any family or community, a threat often kept in check by adults eager to make some mid-night mischief of their own.

Fathers frightened their children if they ventured out alone in the dark, stalking them, preying upon their innocence and trust.

It was a father’s duty to keep their children home; a wayward child might be accused of any sort of mischief if they were seen away from home alone.  Nevermind if the accusations were ever true, if ammounting allegations against a child accused of criminal mischief could not be disproved they would harm the standing of the child’s family in their community.

Of course, much mischief could always be freely perpetrated in some adventurous child’s name.

Consequently, a child who would not obey, who would not stay in their home at night, was a liability.

A good father might simply lurk in the dark and pretend to be a fiend or ghoul or wolf or bear. Their wayward child would be duly frightened; or if not, something worse would happen, perhaps a scolding or a spanking.

A cruel father might not bother with any foolery, they might simply beat their wayward child black and blue to instill the necessary fear that would keep them safely at home minding their chores and lores.

And of course, children who escaped their parents rule at night might meet far worse fates than their fathers’ wrathful warnings.

Many unsuspected people might stalk the night with malign intents.

After all, everyone had some business in the night, business that might leave them without useful alibis or without their constant vigilance within their own homes.

Loose talk in taverns helped many criminals find their victims, victims that included a mark to frame for their crimes.

Any stranger passing through might do as a diversion for a mob misdirected by their own collective guilt over their own secret crimes, crimes that various mob member may hope to lay at the feet of a stranger silenced by a noose and then condemned with planted ‘evidence’.

Later…

We remember the voices of our bullies, some of whom were really shouting with their fathers’ voices, chiding or abusing us with the same words they learned at home, words used to hurt them, words which our bullies transformed into words with which they empowered themselves to hurt us in their places.

Imprinting…

If we had had more close family and friends we might have learned to imprint on other people more successfully.  If it takes a village to raise a child, then it is because a child must be imprinted upon a broad spectrum of people to gather a healthy range of values, skills, morals and good behavior.

As communities outgrow their village sizes the people of a community grow too numerous, trust breaks down, children must become more isolated by fear and change from a healthy range of human contact.

Anyways…

We grew up alienated from our family, we grew up with few friends. We learned to flee from the people we loved the most. We learned to be afraid of anyone we hoped to be friends with. We learned to abandon any hope of ever fitting in with family, friends, or any other communities of people.

Is it so strange we feel so alone and tormented today, even when we are held in the warm embrace of our girlfriend, Tina?

Is it so strange that we must contemplate how our relationship with Tina must end?

We do not want Tina to leave us, but it must seem to Tina, at times, as if we have already abandoned her.

We do not want to hurt Tina, but we hurt everyone we love; we do not see how it is possible not to hurt anyone we love. We must believe that Tina must choose to leave us because we cannot be the person she once loved.

This frightens us terribly, how can we change this awful prognosis?

We can scarcely speak to Tina without hurting her, and yet our silence is another punishment Tina must bear if we hold our tongue.  And it seems we must hold our tongue or else we will somehow lash her with our tongue without ever meaning to.

But oh! Far worse when we deliberately speak in ways we know must hurt her.

We are a person who has been broken out of the world of human societies.  Perhaps we broke ourselves free, perhaps we were outcast, perhaps we simply slipped through the cracks and gaping chasms of some insufficient interest in our welfare.

We were raised by monsters to become a better monster.

We eat bitter meals from violated altars, accepting a faceless form of charity stolen from communities that cannot otherwise succor us among themselves.

We might seem to have been tamed by our own timid needs, but we cannot be included; we remain wild, a creature without solace, with no kind amongst whom we may find a home where we may feel we truly belong.

We hate this life, and yet, we must also love it, because it is the only life we know.

We cannot join anyone in simple pleasures.

Going to a movie is a torment; visiting a park is a pain.

There is nowhere we may go where we do not feel the knives of our alienation more deeply thrusting through our anguished, broken hearts by seeing other people, people who seem safely embedded in their tidy lives, lives we cannot find ourselves included amongst, even when we are warmly made welcome.

Perhaps we should have taken someone hostage.

Oh wait, we have done that before, we have done that many times.

We see how other people hold themselves hostages, we have seen how other people hold others hostage as well.

Taking hostages is a time-honored tradition, even a duty, albeit a duty we have tried to shirk from.

Were we able to adequately imprint upon and bond with other people we might be able to participate in the hostage games being played out all around us without any qualms, our misgivings swept aside by our societies’ and cultures’ willfully blind dependence upon holding everyone hostage.

If we refuse to be a hostage then we become a hostage to our own refusal, we become a hostage by our ostracism, a hostage to the social isolation that results from our failures, and worse, from our refusals to play the game.

If this is not yet another paradox, then this is still just how things really are.

It is a good thing we cannot kill ourselves, for otherwise we surely would.  Alas, our commitment to life is more like a lunatic’s commitment to an asylum.  We may be locked away forever with only ourselves for solace.

We hurt.

Are we mad to choose to believe we may still find any relief from our pain?

We are terrified of making friends and yet we must always still hope to find them.

Must we always hurt others in response to our own pain?

Enjoy!?

Love, Grigori Rho Gharveyn,
aka Greg Gourdian, Falcon, Chameleon, Roger Holler, etc., et al, ad absurdum, ad nauseum…

PS
The antagonists and protagonists of today’s horror shows are becoming increasingly confused, such that it is easier to be more sympathetic toward the monsters and more judgmental of their victims.  This might be a good trend, except that the solutions to the problems portrayed in their stories remain violent and too often still rely on dehumanizing the characters their audiences are being directed to admonish.
Please remember, all the heroines and villains of our horror shows and legends are metaphors for human beings; when we are taught to believe in the inherently evil natures of any group of people, whether they are portrayed by zombies, vampires, lycans, animals, or aliens, all of our heroes, villains and monsters are also always ourselves.

TinYAP 024 — Self-Deprecation, a Social Disease That Ruins Peoples’ Lives

AAaaaaargghhhhh!

We hurt, we hurt, we hurt, we hurt, we hurt!!!!!

We are frustrated beyond belief, but we cannot push our frustration off on our readers, or on Tina, that would be unfair.  However, if we wanted to blame someone other than ourselves, then perhaps our readers or Tina are people whom we might blame for some of our pain and frustration.

This may have a lot to do with our frequent episodes of writer’s block, or why so many of our relationships fail.

With regard to our readers, there are always these nagging comments disparaging us by belittling our work or calling us crazy.  Some of our readers have left nasty comments in the past; some of our earlier critics have even punctuated their criticisms with their fists.

Perhaps we have learned from the responses of other people to imagine additional criticism because we seem to hear many people continue to criticize us, even when we are ‘alone’.  Either way, we experience a lot of pain and anguish trying to address complaints about our work regardless of whether these complaints originate with one or more of ourselves, or whether they originate with other people, some of whom may be our current readers.

With regard to Tina, we do not hate Tina, we love her; however, our frequent anger issues often nonconsciously motivate us to hurt Tina in subtle ways that she may often seem not to notice, but which make us feel bad whenever we catch ourselves being mean.

We do not want to hurt Tina, but we also do want to reward Tina either for hurting us or for hurting herself.  Instead, we prefer to try to cope with our feelings without talking to Tina about them because we think our feelings are really our own personal responsibility. 

We might want to talk to Tina about our feelings, however Tina has defense mechanisms that make this seem nearly impossible.  We do not know how to talk to Tina without activating her defense mechanisms.  Even if we believe we are not trying to blame Tina or attack her, Tina reflexively, habitually assumes that she is at fault and promptly punishes herself, interrupting anything we might hope to say.

This is a defense mechanism because Tina anticipates we will say something that somehow criticizes her or blames her and then, rather than wait to hear us out, she immediately cuts us off by saying something that blames or punishes herself.  She defends herself from hearing us say something bad about her by saying something bad about herself first.

This is still not another paradox, this is just another case of how things really are.  Sadly, it is not just Tina who hurts herself like this, possibly everyone we have ever met hurts themselves like this from time to time.

Our ex, Kelly, used to demand we take responsibility for our issues, she also demanded we talk to her, but as nearly as we can tell, what she really wanted was to absolve herself of responsibility for her own issues by pushing them off onto us.  This seems to us to have contributed to our divorce.

Of course, being bat-shit crazy might be another one.

<shakes head>

We do not want to marry or divorce Tina, however, we suspect she would like to marry us and only tells us she does not want to marry us because she knows we do not want to marry.

Alas, we suspect Tina re-words our desire not to get married to mean it as if we do not want to marry her, Tina, specifically because of some fault with her.  We think Tina takes it as some sort of insult or condemnation that we do not want to marry, but we see marriage as a very different business than most people may see it.

Marriage is not strictly a union of two people, it is also a union with the culture or cultures of the people being married.

Our rejection of marriage has more to do with our rejection of our own native cultures, it has nothing to do with Tina as a person, particularly as someone whom we dearly love.

Also, a marriage deserves the participation of two families, and our relationships with our own families are terrible.  We still do not feel like we belong to any family, society or culture; we are a severely alienated person (or persons, if you are kind enough to allow us to define ourselves not as you may prefer to define us, but instead, as we choose to define ourselves).

Anyways…

No one on earth can change us; if any change is possible, then that change is something we must learn how to create for ourselves.

People on earth may try to change our circumstances or labels, they may try to change their relationships with us, but those things may only affect us, they cannot change us.

Consequently, we know we cannot change Tina, we can only hope she is capable of changing herself.  Of course, even if Tina wanted to change, it may be the case it is not possible for Tina or anyone to change themselves.  However, this is not a case we find it at all useful to contemplate.

Some people assert it is impossible for anyone to change themselves, so we must sometimes consider that however much we may wish to change ourselves, it may be the case that we are really powerless to do so.

However, if we are indeed powerless to change ourselves then it may be pointless to proceed; therefor, if we wish to proceed we must choose to believe it is possible to change ourselves, regardless of whether it may really be possible to do so or not.

One thing we wish Tina could change about herself is her habitual self-deprecations.  We have tried to talk with her about this, but she says she can’t change this.

If it is possible for her to change this, then she must either be mistaken or she may be lying.

However, if it is possible for Tina to change and she is mistaken, then she is also correct.  This is not a paradox, Tina may make it impossible to change herself by believing it is impossible, and then by choosing not to try.

We would prefer to believe Tina is simply mistaken.  We would prefer to believe Tina would like to change.

Tina abuses herself every day in countless ways with her self-deprecations.  We cannot really find fault with Tina over this, we believe Tina was taught to be this way.  We prefer to choose to believe Tina can still learn to love herself and be happy with herself.

We know there are many things Tina would like to change about her circumstances, but these are not the things she needs to change most.  A person who knows how to be happy and content with themselves can be happy or content in any circumstances.  What Tina most needs to change are the cognitive habits she uses to make herself unhappy, habits which may make her miserable regardless of her circumstances.

Unfortunately, Tina is suffering from a communicable social disease, a cognitive disease she learned from other people.

We have yet to meet anyone who is not sick with this disease to some degree, in some manner or another, and we have met a lot of people.  We spent four years as a psychic reader working with various psychic fairs, traveling a three state working region through four different states.

This cognitive disease is passed down to every generation, it may be pointless to try to determine its origins, however we do hope it may be possible to determine how to end it.

Self-deprecation has some useful social functions, such as making a painful or embarrassing point without directly offending someone who may cause harm to the speaker in retaliation.

However, when self-deprecation becomes a habituated response, such that a person blames or criticizes themselves every time anything goes wrong, appears to go wrong, or is described by someone else as being wrong, then self-deprecation has become a harmful habit.

One reason some people develop habits of self-deprecation is to get strokes from other people as a reward.

Rewarding someone for hurting themselves is either stupid, or crazy like a fox.

Nonetheless, there are traditions in most cultures in which a person who hurts themselves with self-deprecation is rewarded with positive social strokes.

Good person, good person, you just keep on hurting yourself.

Stupid, yes?

And yet this is a ritual carried out daily all over the world, perhaps in every culture.  We are pretty sure there are no people who are not affected by this sort of behavior, neither ourselves nor any others may be able to escape this terrible social disease.

These rituals of self-deprecation have lots of useful purposes for our societies and their cultures, so regardless of how much harm such rituals cause, it seems likely that the cultures of most societies will continue to teach self-deprecation to each successive generation.

No wonder so many kids are so suicidal; they have been instilled with their own worthlessness and the helplessness of their conditions by the people who should love them and care for them the most.

We remain committed to doing our very best to change that for the better.

Enjoy!

Love, Grigori Rho Gharveyn,
aka Greg Gourdian, Falcon, Chameleon, etc., et al…

TinYAP 023 — Beyond Death and Dying

(explanations promised at the end of TinYAP 022)

In TinYAP 022 we described what happens when people die. We (the authors) understand death intimately from our personal experiences because we have died many, many times, both in various versions of this current incarnation (versions we call ‘iterations’), as well as times when we have died in some of our other incarnations.

In TY022 We briefly explained, in context to ancient Greek beliefs, why people returning to life forget their ‘afterlife’ experiences.  While we should explain this better in another context using more modern terms, we will leave such explanations for another post and explain instead focus on the previously promised explanations of why the corpses of people you know who have died do not seem to return to life, and the ways you may unintentionally harm yourselves by suicide without successfully escaping from whatever torments drove you to kill yourselves,

Please note – we put quotes around the word ‘afterlife’ because time is very different from what most people appear to believe about it. Past and future are always simultaneous with the present. We understand this may seem impossible or confusing to you, however, this is yet another explanation we may owe you which we will have to make later.
Also,
in TY022 we advised readers not to test our assertions regarding dying or death with suicide.  It only now occurs to us that perhaps we should also have advised our readers not to test our assertions by killing anyone else, as well.

Every suicide’s death remains a ‘real’ death in the sense that their death may leave a corpse behind in the universes they ‘cast off’ when they kill themselves.  Also, someone who has died by any other means than suicide may also leave a corpse behind.

In those universes where a suicide returns to life they do not appear to have died.  The suicide returns to life in more or less the same state as they existed in before their suicide.  Alas, their suicides inform their universes that they are very unhappy with what they have, so they tend to lose most of what they had before they killed themselves, unless they have guardians or custodians who may help them to keep their belongings and maintain their relationships.

A billionaire who kills themselves may return to life and become a pauper in just a few days.

Someone with many close friends and family may lose less of their material wealth if they kill themselves, because their friends and family may sometimes act as guardians or custodians to help preserve their property.  However, suicides also often ruin their closest relationships.

The deaths of suicides in particular, may ruin relationships, however any death, in general, may also damage or ruin close relationships.

Every time you die the people whom love you most are hurt.  The more frequently you *choose* to die, the more deeply members of your family or friends may be hurt.

Everyone dies countless unremembered deaths, but the deaths of suicides leave much deeper impressions on people, impressions that are rarely understood but which serve to alienate people.  In whatever universes where a suicide finds themselves when they return to life, those people who are emotionally closest to them may become more alienated from them even though their family or friends are unlikely to be consciously aware that their loved one has killed themselves in an alternate universe.

Even though suicides return to their lives and carry on as if they had not died, suicides also leave behind worlds in alternate universes in which they no are no longer incarnate beings; worlds in which their lovers, families, friends and other associates may have been deeply hurt by the deaths of someone they loved who killed themselves.

When someone kills themselves they leave a corpse in one universe and return to life in another universe in a new body.  Their new body is virtually indistinguishable from the body they killed.

Nothing seems to have changed for the suicide or the people they know, however, in the universes where the suicide dies the people who mourn their loss are in pain, and that pain can carry over from one universe to another.

People close to a resurrected suicide feel their own pain bleeding over from those universes where the suicide has died into those universes where the suicide is still alive.  That transferred pain may insidiously alienate them from the person they love who has abandoned them in another universe by killing themselves.

People living with a loved one in universes where the loved one has returned from suicide may be unaware of their loved one’s suicide on any conscious level, however they may still feel some of the pain they are experiencing from those universes where their loved one has died by killing themselves.

Such people intuitively understand the pain they feel is related to the person they love who has killed themselves in an alternate universe.  This pain that has been transferred to them from another of themselves in another universe causes them to reflexively withdraw from their suicidal loved one.

A suicidal person can feel the withdrawal of their loved ones and this often increases their desire to kill themselves again.

Most suicides do not kill themselves only once; many suicides kill themselves repeatedly, injuring many of their closest relationships over, and over again.

It can be very difficult for suicidal people trapped in negative feedback loops to learn to motivate themselves to remain alive and to get on with their lives in a healthier manner.

Meanwhile, once a person has decided to kill themselves, it becomes easier to decide to kill themselves again, so not only is their motivation to kill themselves increased by the withdrawal of their closest relationships, but at the same time they are breaking down their inhibitions or reservations against killing themselves.  Consequently, suicidal people become prone to killing themselves more and more frequently.

This feedback loop actually increases the pain a suicidal person is feeling.  The suicidal person then makes themselves suffer more than they would if they had not killed themselves.

These are the reasons why we *strongly* advise people not to kill themselves.

It is impossible to escape pain or suffering by suicide, you can only make things worse for yourselves by killing yourselves.

We know this from our own personal experiences, having killed ourselves many, many times.

It’s bad enough we must die many times for reasons that may seem accidental, or for reasons that may be more homicidal than accidental, however, we should not need to add more to our pain by killing ourselves as well.

Dying hurts.

Each time we are dying we feel the people who love us most calling out to us, beseeching us to return, begging us not to leave them.  We feel all of their pain and the suffering they cause themselves when they grieve for us or mourn their loss.

The emotional pains of dying are far worse than any mere physical discomfort.  The emotional pains are so severe that they may sometimes help many suicidal people to change their minds about killing themselves.

However, those suicidal people who fail to change their minds may still go on to kill themselves.  Many of those who succeed in killing themselves may go on to kill themselves repeatedly until they become so numb to their own pain that they no longer care if they live or die and may then cease to kill themselves any more, not out of a will or desire to live, but out of apathy.

We ourselves have killed ourselves countless times, in every age of this incarnation, from womb to present.  We have left many graves in many worlds, we have abandoned many mourners who have grieved for us or who have suffered in the wakes of our passings.

Sometimes we find death useful.

Sometimes death can be a tool with which we may work on parts of ourselves that are difficult to change while we are alive.

Many aspects of peoples’ minds are in feedback relationships with their bodies or with other people.  Each person has many homeostatic regulatory systems which help to maintain not only their physical or spiritual health, but also their emotional and cognitive health, as well as the health of their relationships with other people.

Such homeostatic processes must be suspended to make particular changes to how various parts of our minds or bodies function.

Death is one means of suspending such homeostatic processes.  We do not happen to know of another, however, we strongly suspect that other methods exist.

<<<INTERRUPT>>> Other methods do exist.  A person who is an integrated member of a spiritual community may receive assistance with anything requiring homeostatic suspension through whatever prayers, meditations, or rituals are the conventional tools of their culture.
You have difficulty remembering this sort of thing because of your severe alienation.
<<<PROCEEED>>>

Thank you Interruptor.

Anyways…
As is often the case, this leads us to yet another story that may be more appropriate in a separate post.

We believe we have sufficiently covered both points we initially set out to explain.

Laters, then, fer now…

Enjoy!

TinYAP 022 — Dying, Death and Beyond, Time Manipulation, Returning to Life…

<WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME>
(or anywhere else, really)

Regarding death…

People may sometimes appear to die.  Even to themselves, a person may sometimes appear to be dead.

Nonetheless, all people always return to life after they have died.

Ordinarily, death can feel like a very brief experience, particularly in the sense that when you resume your life, very little time may appear to have passed between the moments before your death and the moments immediately after you awaken from your death, as you return to life.

Your experiences while you are dead do not require any time to pass in the living world. All of your experiences when you appear to have died run on a totally different clock; you have all the time in the ‘afterlife’ (or underworld) to return to your life. You will always return to your life as close in time and space as possible to where and when you left your life.

You have many lives; death can serve as a door to allow you to move from one incarnation to another. Of course, you cannot just leave your current body an empty shell.  Even if your body is momentarily dead, someone will hijack your corpse if you are away from it too long.

Fortunately, most people return to their dead bodies per the rules we have explained above.

All of your lives of your various incarnations and all of their iterations are lived by different internal clocks. All internal clocks expand timelessness into infinite time. Internal clocks can be may speed up or slow down subjective time so that time seems to go by either faster or slower. A slower clock divides time into smaller units between each tick, so that more ticks are experienced between one second and the next.

One way to imagine how a slower clock works is to think of a movie that is made with high-speed film. High speed film captures clear images when the subject is moving very quickly. There are a lot more frames per second with a high speed film. Played at an ordinary rate subjects in the film appear to move more slowly than usual. When your internal clock speeds up it adds ‘frames’ that represent briefer and briefer slices of time, because the intervals between ‘frames’ are briefer there appears to be more action in a short span of time.

When your internal clock removes frames to slow subjective time down, each remaining frame then represents a longer period of time. This is like shooting just a few frames a day to record the growth of a plant, then running the frames at a higher rate of speed to create an illusion of much more rapid growth. In this way, when your internal clock goes slower, time appears to pass more slowly because you experience a lower density of events over time that you may deem worthy of paying attention to.

On the other hand, when your clock is going much faster, time may seem to slow down to a crawl because you experience more significant events in a briefer amount of time.

Your clock speeds up when you need more processing power to pay greater attention to higher levels of detail and complexity. Fast clocks are excellent for creative people, athletes, or people facing a crisis where they feel certain they are in immediate physical danger.

Slower clocks are typical with people who are habitually bored; because they are not engaged with the world around themselves to any significant degree their clocks may allow them to relax and stand down, perhaps even catch a nap.

People whose clocks are nearly always running as fast as they can tolerate find it hard to make much time for sleep.

Time appears to expand or contract according to the degree to which the observer is actively and deeply engaged in their experiences. For instance, in dreams hours, days or months of subjective time may pass by in only a few brief minutes of sleep.

We cannot say how many times this flexibility of our own internal clocks appear to have saved our lives.

For instance, on one occasion when we fell from a scaffold from three stories up, our subjective time immediately snapped into extreme slow motion, meaning our internal clock was running very fast. While falling we had plenty of time to look around. We drifted towards the ground below as slowly as a feather falls. We had time to calculate that we had just one opportunity to save ourselves from serious injury. We were able to hook one leg around the last horizontal bar of scaffolding before the ground, and then catch ourselves by locking our heels together. We wound up dangling upside down with all of our spare change flying out of our pockets. We could almost reach the ground if we stretched our arms out as far as we could.

On another occasion we went into subjective slow motion after being hit by a car. The car hit us from behind while we were riding our bicycle, throwing us over the handlebars. we had plenty of time to think about what we were doing, to tuck and roll, taking the impact with the ground on our shoulders. We could then look up in time to snag our flying bicycle out of the air by the handlebars and wrench it across the curb onto the grass margin between the sidewalk and the street. We used the momentum of the bicycle to help us to roll over the curb with our bike just in time to avoid being run over by the car that hit us which was traveling at nearly 50 miles an hour. We were well within an established bicycle lane on a road marked for only 25 miles an hour, approaching a school zone.

This flexibility of internal clocks is a great survival tool.

Often, when we die, we are retroactively saved from what had been certain death by a heroic form of ourselves who takes control of our mind and body and knows exactly how to manage our internal clock and body far better than we can.

If we examine the bicycle incident closely, we see we may really have died then. We do not remember dying then, but most of our memories of our deaths are pretty spotty. It seems as if people are just not supposed to remember their deaths.

In ancient lore, people who die must cross two rivers in the Underworld, Styx (death) and Lethe (memory removal). Memory removal usually assures that most ‘afterlife’ experiences, including the moment of death, are entirely forgotten.

We believe the only reason we remember as much as we do, including our memories that go back to our mothers’ wombs and beyond, may be due to our very early childhood training.

For glimpses into our childhood and what may be considered to be our very unusual training please see our page titled A CHILD’S TALES.

We can clearly remember several deaths in this lifetime.  One time, a friend cut our throat deeply from ear to ear in a ritual to prove to us that we are immortal.  Two witnesses were stunned and discussed choosing to forget what they had seen.  Another time we were shot dead by the police while trying to steal their van,  We touched each police officer in the back of his head near the nape of his neck with the fingers of either hand of our astral body simultaneously.  Our corpse immediately vanished, while our astral body turned to flesh.

Once again, the witnesses were stunned and discussed choosing to forget what they had seen. 

In both cases, the witnesses promptly forgot what had happened.

Most people appear to have a very low tolerance for anything they may prefer to believe is impossible; denial is most often their best refuge from events they have witnessed that might drive them mad if they choose to remember…

We do sound mad?  Yes?

Of course, we assure you we are not at all mad, however you may possibly take a long time to remember enough times when you have died in your current incarnation to begin to believe our assertions.  However, according to some of our friends, eventually you will come to agree with us, if not before you die again, then sometime after you have died many more times.

<WARNING>  We strongly recommend that you do not kill yourselves to test our assertions.

The safest way to understand your own immortality is to choose to remember times in this lifetime when you have already died.  We already know that you have died many times already, so this should not be too hard to learn to do if you really wish to know for yourself that what we have explained to you may really be true.

It’s like our mom says, “if you want to prove you can fly, be sure to do it from the ground up”.

How do we know you have died many times already?

Death is written into the fabric of every person’s lives; no matter how you divide up time, you are always being killed, and the universe you live in is always disappearing with you as you die.

This is a function of how creation works, but then so is the ‘big bang’.  If you think creationism and science cannot be reconciled, we would like to suggest you read: The Great False Debate, Science vs. Religion

Once you have died, you may have several options.  In one option you will always return to the life you have just departed from, and you then resume your life wherever you left off.  No matter how much time you spend with your other options, your previous life will always be waiting for you to return to it and resume it.

Another option is to try a different incarnation.  You can enter any of your other incarnations, even a ‘new’ one at any time.  If a part of you is currently living that lifetime they may agree to swap with you. 

Please note, in some circumstances, swapping your consciousness with someone in another incarnation including another of your own incarnations may occur for brief spans of time, following which you may return to whichever incarnation you were previously living in.

Yet another option is to spend some time, as many eternities as you like, really, remaining in the ‘afterlife’ or underworld, in order to get to know what reality is like from the other side, as it were… The afterlife can be lots of fun, you may meet all sorts of people you love, and may be free to have as many adventures as you like.  The downside to such sojourns in these ‘afterlife’ experiences is that you must cross the River Lethe to return to life, and are therefor, on exiting, you may most likely forget all of your ‘afterlife’ experiences, whenever you have return to life.

Regardless of your choices, (and, you are always free to choose all of them simultaneously), after you have died some of yourselves will always return to the whichever lives you have ‘recently’ died in and resume them.

As impossible as this may seem, this is not some paradox, this is just how things really are.

Enjoy!

PS
If you enjoyed this blog you should really like the Robin Williams movie titled:
What Dreams May Come, or one of our favorite articles,
‘Hell in a Nutshell’.

PPS
We owe you explanations of why the corpses of people you know who have died do not seem to return to life, and the ways you may harm yourselves by suicide without successfully escaping from whatever torment drove you to kill yourselves.  That will come another time, we can’t quite remember where we have made that explanation before or we would link it here now…

Bye, bye fer now, and remember, Enjoy!